[Reader-list] provocation et al

[nishit saran]

Hello everyone.

If anyone has the time and the patience to explain Tarunji's last mail to
me, I shall be most grateful.  I didn't get it. I apologize. I know I should
shut up if I didn't get it, for - obviously -  it is unfair to bash people
for using jargon, when one is really not sure whether THEY are using jargon
or ONE is being plain stupid.

I had no 'big' issues with Tarunji's take on 'experiential suffering' or on
'discrediting people who are offlist'. I am frankly unresolved on both
counts. My thoughts on THAT...

Is one now not allowed to discredit George Bush or Yasser Arafat or the BJP
just because they are not on the list? Or are we just talking about people
who 'might have been' on the Reader list and are not? Is it a matter of
public figures alone? Then, if one shares someone's poem on the list, does
that not make it public domain enough to be criticized?

About experiential suffering, I am undecided as well... One can't quantify
it, right, so then if I write a really BAD poem (in anyone's book... say, a
'vulgar' one or a 'third-rate' one) about how I didn't get laid night, and
it really kills me, do you have no right to say it's a shitty poem just coz
I profess pain? Yeah, but can one compare the trauma of Partition to the
suckiness of not getting laid? Of course not. But what about Partition to
Holocaust, or Partition to Bhopal Gas or Partition to caste murder or
Partition to losing my parents? How does one draw the line?  Death? Can one
not say anything parodic about death?

Is it enough for a someone to say 'I suffer' to make any artistic expression
of that suffering beyond the pale of criticism? I didn't like XYZ partition
film ... I thought it sucked. Like Tarunji thought Gadar sucked. Fine. So,
PP thought the poem sucked. Not fine suddenly? What if I produce thirty
older people who were really moved by Gadar, and who claim that it was
really true to what they experienced and it was cathartic for them? Are we
just going to dismiss those people as lumpen goons? Or theorize them away as
brainwashed?  

Anyway, as I say, I am unresolved. Unsure. And before I get any comments
about trivializing 'experiential suffering' - I lost two uncles to the
Partition. My mom was born 9 days after Independence, in riot-torn Punjab
after my grandparents fled from Pakistan being spat on and shot at on the
way. They couldn't find milk for mommy. And I lost two uncles. I am allowed
to trivialize my OWN 'suffering' right? Or, are you going to tell me now
that I need to feel MORE suffering?

Anyways, I'm still undecided. My big problem I can't make a case for
censorship on the basis of hurt sentiments.  I can't make a case for hurting
sentiments either. Which is why the exchange has been interesting.

But my posting was not about these things. I don't KNOW what I feel about
these things. No, my posting was about 'why I feel like lurking'... why I
think elitist terms like Tarunji's freak me out. (Oh, and I knew my
reference to Proust would be slammed. In spite of my caveat. Aaargh.)

All I want to say is... dude, what does all this mean (and sorry if I am
'grandstanding' again):

> As a filmmaker I would have imagined that issues relating to memory and
perception and the representation of the partition would be impossible to
ignore.

Huh? What does my being a filmmaker have anything to do with this? Why do I
have to bring in memory and perception and the representation of the
Partition when all I am talking about is why I don't like terms like
'vulgar' and 'third rate' and 'goon' and 'lumpen'?

And, since you're so defensive about the 'offlist' ... did I mention
anywhere on the list that I was a filmmaker?

> One mustn¹t carry these grad-school analogies too far, after all, the brown
sahibs are a bit of an anachronism/cliche these days anyhow.

Grad school analogies? As in "Pah! Grad school! Grow up, son!"...?

I didn't even GO to grad school. Now, you've really made me feel small. I am
sorry if my knowledge and, God forbid, my analogies are too anachronistic.
Will keep that in mind if I ever dare to disagree with Tarunji again.

Again, I get the sense of being put in place, having my credentials
questioned and so on... 'Go back into your corner and lurk, boy!"

Enough said on my part. Sorry if this was a waste of time for all of you.

I must grant you, Tarunji... You have, for better or worse, got me out of my
lurking shell. 

Oh, also, for some strange (and tragic) reason, I only happen to write to
this list when I am a tad drunk? Maybe it's about being uninhibited or
something? I'm sure it shows. Is that against the rules? (Too lumpen
perchance?) Do let me know.

- Nishit Saran