[Reader-list] On a lighter note...

[Sandipan Chatterjee]

  These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things
  people actually said in court taken down and published by court
reporters...

   Q: Are you sexually active?
   A: No, I just lie there.
   __________________________________
   Q: What is your date of birth?
   A: July 15th.
   Q: What year?
   A: Every year.
   ______________________________________
   Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
   A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
   ______________________________________
   Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
   A: Yes.
   Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
   A: I forget.
   Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that
   you've forgotten?
   _____________________________________
   Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
   A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
   Q: How long has he lived with you?
   A: Forty-five years.
   _____________________________________
   Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke
   up that morning?
   A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
   Q: And why did that upset you?
   A: My name is Susan.
   ______________________________________
   Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
   sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
   A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
   ___________________________________
   Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
   _____________________________________
   Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
   ______________________________________
   Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
   A: Yes.
   Q: And what were you doing at that time?
   ______________________________________
   Q: She had three children, right?
   A: Yes.
   Q: How many were boys?
   A: None.
   Q: Were there any girls?
   ______________________________________
   Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
   A: By death.
   Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
   ______________________________________
   Q: Can you describe the individual?
   A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
   Q: Was this a male, or a female?
   ______________________________________
   Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
   notice which I sent to your attorney?
   A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
   ______________________________________
   Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
   A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
   ______________________________________
   Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
   A: Oral.
   ______________________________________
   Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
   A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
   Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
   A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
   autopsy.
   ______________________________________
   Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
   ______________________________________
   Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
   pulse?
   A: No.
   Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
   A: No.
   Q: Did you check for breathing?
   A: No.
   Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
   began the autopsy?
   A: No.
   Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
   A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
   Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
   A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
   practicing law somewhere.



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