[Reader-list] Third Independent Research Posting

[Zainab Bawa]

Dear All,
The research was moving a bit too slowly owing to my exams and involvement 
in a project on operationalizing the human right to water for the urban poor 
in Mumbai. I have been compiling my experiences in the slums with what I 
have observed in the trains and am trying to understand the phenomenon of 
crowding and its subsequent impact on people.
>From Monday, I am beginning interviews with women who frequently travel by 
train. The first interview is slated to occur on a journey with a woman 
travels by first class in order to avoid the 'roughness' of second class. I 
will be traveling with her from her home to office and we will be talking 
along the way! She was quite amused with what I was doing. I also request 
you to send in your thoughts, comments and feedback, particularly on any 
literature which you think I should review in connection with this study. I 
have been advised to look at literature pertaining to New York's subways and 
compare scenarios which I think would be extremely interesting from a larger 
perspective.
For now, this much.
With best wishes,
Zainab Bawa



Date: 28/01/04

Journey: Byculla to Kurla

Today’s experience in the trains was quite interesting.

I boarded the train at Byculla. The train was bound for Kurla. There was not 
much crowd in the train because this was a short distance train. I stood at 
the platform where the middle ladies compartment was expected to halt. The 
middle ladies compartment was divided into two sections. The first section 
was large, amounting to 70% of the total compartment space; there was a 
partition dividing the small compartment (comprising of the rest of the 30%) 
from the large. I decided to purposely sit in the small compartment.

There were very few people in my small compartment, mostly mothers, with 
their school-going children. The lady sitting opposite me was staring at my 
cell phone (which I was holding in my hand). The lady sitting next to me was 
sitting too close to me. There was very little space between her and me. For 
a moment, this was too disconcerting for me. I almost felt like this lady 
wanted to open herself up to me. She was thinking deeply.

There was another lady sitting opposite me with her two school-going 
children. Even she was deeply immersed in her thoughts. Like this, there 
were several ladies sitting in the small compartment with their school-going 
children, deeply immersed in thought.

I found this to be a very strange experience. After a while, even I was lost 
in my own thoughts. What I felt afterwards was that these moments were those 
where all of us women were together into the brains and all of us were 
simultaneously immersed in thinking. All of us were together lost in our 
thoughts. And, I am 110% certain that these thoughts were mainly about our 
existential worries and problems – the problems of living – nothing more 
than that! And yet, it is these existential problems which are more 
harrowing than anything else!

As if automatically, all the “thinking” women (don’t know whether to call 
them thoughtful) came out of their thoughts the moment our train touched 
Dadar Station. They straightened themselves up, ‘proper-ed’ their sarees, 
smiled loving and warmly at their children, and headed out of the 
compartment.

The moment all of them left, I was all by myself in the compartment, and 
soon, the smallness of the compartment began to reveal itself to me. This 
small compartment appeared to be a very private space. The walls of the 
compartment were scribbled with various kinds of messages, most notably 
“love” messages. Some of the messages were:

1.	One bird in hand worths two in a bush
- Be happy with what you have
- Khushi )):
2.	MR 2004 from Yogesh Pawar
3.	Shakeb love Shama … I am ________ waiting for you
There were little scribbles were scratched everywhere on the walls of this 
compartment. I could not decipher some of the writings at all! I usually 
find young schoolgirls frequenting these small compartments:
		young meaning like 14-16 years onwards
		school – a lot of them go to municipal schools or Marathi medium schools

These girls have very intimate talks to share with each other. They squeal, 
giggle, whisper and chat in hushed and hurried voices. A lot of times, the 
talks revolve around the latest crush, the most attractive guy, the popular 
guy (could be a film star or a local guy, someone from their 
school/chawl/neighbourhood/colony), or their boyfriend or friend’s 
boyfriend. But I don’t know whether it is these girls who scratch the train 
walls and write on them. My personal stereotype is that the scratches and 
scribbles are done by boys, because in my worldview, ‘girls’ don’t do such 
rough things (except for rough girls or boyish girls). Perhaps my stereotype 
is influenced by Hindi films and by my visit to Gulmarg (in Kashmir), where 
a lot of the scribbling was done by the boys. And then, there are boys who 
also scratch/scribble their girlfriends’ names on their hands/wrists. But I 
also know of my female schoolmates who had scratched their girlfriends’ 
names on their wrists because they were very passionate and possessive about 
them.

Anyway, coming back to the compartment. The smallness of the compartment was 
revealing itself to me. When there were few people in it, it was an intimate 
space. When there were no people in it (and I thought I was all alone in 
it), the space began to grow on me. By the time the train hit Sion station, 
I was beginning to feel intimidated. I was feeling like I am the only person 
in the compartment and what if some men at Sion are tempted to jump into my 
empty compartment. What would happen if a mugger got in? On this thought, I 
immediately threw my cell phone in my bag. I also tightened up myself and 
became a bit more alert.

My mind wandered back to the journey which I had undertaken from Andheri 
Station to Churchgate at 8 o’clock in the evening on 12th Jan. On that 
journey too, I was sitting in the middle ladies compartment and by the time 
the train had reached Marine Lines (one stop before Churchgate), I was all 
alone, with everyone getting off at Marine Lines. Apart from me, there was a 
lady standing at the door of the compartment. When about five minutes had 
passed and the train was showing no sign of movement, I decided to check 
with this lady whether the train would go to Churchgate at all! She saw me 
and said, “Come, sit here.” I asked her if the train would go to Churchgate. 
She said, “Have you ever heard of a train which halts at Marine Lines as its 
final junction?” Yeah, I knew there was never such a train where Marine 
Lines was the junction. The she said, “I saw you seated and therefore I 
decided to continue sitting in this compartment. I was actually going to 
move to the first ladies compartment (which is usually filled with ladies, 
is bigger and irrespective of timing, always has quite a few women in it. 
Hence, it is perceived to be safer!). You know what happens nah when the 
train moves from Marine Lines to Churchgate; it halts for a while in between 
the two stations, waiting for a clearance signal so that it can park itself 
on a track occupied previously by a train which is now moving out. At night 
times, muggers and thieves get into relatively empty compartments during 
these halt periods and then threaten us and loot.” Frankly, I had never 
thought of this realistic possibility. A while before I had spoken to this 
lady, I was thinking to myself, “Wow! I am all alone in this compartment and 
this is so wonderful because I have all the space to myself,” and I was 
stretching out my hands and legs. After what this lady said to me, I was 
feeling like a romantic idiot. So, in a city, is this what happens to an 
empty space? Shit!
The train halted for a long time between Marine Lines and Churchgate 
stations, waiting for the track clearance signal. The woman then said to me, 
“See, we have this chain to pull in order to alert the guard, but by the 
time we get to this bit of action, the thief would have already gotten to 
us. And sometimes, these people have weapons and they threaten us with them 
if we try to pull the chain.
This was a local Maharashtrian woman who probably hailed from the 
unorganized sector. She taught me the difference between courage and 
impulse. Her attitude reinforced my beliefs about fraternity and community 
between women!!!

While I was thinking about this incident, I walked towards the door of the 
compartment to hang around the pole (which is quite an emotional support 
during lonely periods). I was wondering about how the human mind and 
emotions work. We want space, but when there is lots of space, we want 
someone, some people around because we cannot be alone. The empty space 
grows on us after a while. While hanging onto the pole, I peered into the 
other corner of the compartment and actually saw another woman sitting 
snugly by the window. I could not see her earlier because of the partition 
separating the two window seats in the same compartment. My hunch was proved 
right! I knew I was not sitting alone all this while … (in the 
compartment)!!!


-	Zainab Bawa
-	For communication, email zainabbawa at yahoo.com

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