[Reader-list] The News of the World and Other Stories: Post 4.0 by Aman Sethi

[mahmood farooqui]

Oh yes, couldn't agree more with Parismita. An Indian Orwell! What
could be more obvious.
And more difficult to find.


On 08/05/06, Aman Sethi <aman.am at gmail.com> wrote:
> Dear Parismita,
>
> Glad u liked the peice.  Would be fun to work on a comic seriea
> together.  interestingly,  the last post - welcome to nowhere was a
> text attempt at creating an atmosphere like in frank miller's sin city
> series.
> a>
> On 5/7/06, parismita singh <parismitasingh at yahoo.com> wrote:
> > Hi Aman,
> >
> > Just a note to say I enjoyed reading your piece very
> > much . I've often felt that one 'misses' out on the
> > nuances of a political or other situation, when all we
> > have is 'news'. And travelling through India( and
> > listening in ) to people , I did wish there was more
> > 'writing ' like  yours.
> >
> > And yes,  I could almost see some of the characters in
> > pen and ink - it would make good comic book stuff!
> >
> > Regards,
> > Parismita
> >
> > --- Aman Sethi <aman.am at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > > Dear All,
> > > This latest post is in four parts, and is an attempt
> > > to understand a
> > > great vareity of things - principally "time pass",
> > > information
> > > dissemination, and intersections between the mandi
> > > and the state. As
> > > usual, its highly abstracted from my conversations
> > > with construction
> > > labour in paharganj.
> > > Best
> > > Aman
> > >
> > > Part I, The News of the World.
> > >
> > > Welcome to The News of the World: Time pass with
> > > Mamu the drunk, Lambu
> > > the philosopher and JP the lunatic.  Don't miss our
> > >
> > > pet special with man's best friend "Kutiya the
> > > wonder-dog".  Also, in
> > > "Ask Ashraf", the answer to our weekly poll question
> > > – Sarkar Humari
> > > Gaand Kyu Marti Hai?"
> > >
> > > The lunatic came early that day, and with him came
> > > the news of the
> > > world.  Five in the evening, and the working day was
> > > winding down, the
> > > sun was setting, and the world was slowly healing
> > > itself in
> > > preparation for a long, bruising tomorrow.  Slowly
> > > the patchwork of
> > > open wounds were closing into scabs, only to be
> > > grazed open the next
> > > day – shops downed their shutters, mazdoors downed
> > > their tools, MCD
> > > bulldozers burrowed their way deep into the remains
> > > of the settlement
> > > they had just destroyed, and the Judge adjourned his
> > > Court – granting
> > > the courtiers another night of uneasy sleep.
> > >
> > > "Deviyo, t-tha Sajjanno, bhen ke lowdo, Gundi nalli
> > > ke keedon, Jago,
> > > Jago, Jago"  "Mein hu JP Singh Pagal, aur mein laya
> > > huan - Aaj ki taaz
> > > khabar".  Enter the lunatic – an effervescent bubble
> > > in a sea of
> > > surliness. Weaving through the crowd of exhausted
> > > labourers, the
> > > lunatic pulled hard on his chillum, exhaling plumes
> > > of bitter sweet
> > > marijuana smoke: interrupting conversations,
> > > pushing, shoving, joking,
> > > bitching, shouting, and wailing out "The News of the
> > > World"-complete
> > > with analysis from our experts.
> > >
> > > Undeterred by the lack of welcome, the lunatic
> > > plowed on, rattling off
> > > events and occurrences in no particular order –
> > > taking credit for most
> > > stories, placing himself, and his viewer, directly
> > > in the line of
> > > fire.
> > >
> > > "Soft drink ke bottle me milla condom – Pepsi ki
> > > lagi gaand- ek lakh
> > > rupai jurmana.
> > > Meerut mein lagi aag – voh toh kher, humne hi lagayi
> > > thi, Lakhme India
> > > Fashion Week mein kapade gayab - sunna tha badi
> > > taliya bajji thi, hum
> > > bhi the vahain, kyu? Sheher mein macchi khalbalee –
> > > bhai sahib, ek
> > > bomb ka dhamaka kafi hai."
> > >
> > > His audience, by contrast, was a study in stillness-
> > > pulling their
> > > belongings closer, and then still closer, every time
> > > he passed by.
> > > Inspired by KBC,  JP Singh Pagal was a firm believer
> > > in the "fastest
> > > finger first" doctrine, picking up anything that
> > > caught his fancy.
> > > Rumour had it that he prowled the mandi after
> > > midnight, walking off
> > > the effects of his chillum and stealing slippers,
> > > tools and clothes.
> > > But for now, he was tolerable as the fearless,
> > > intrepid reporter –
> > > jumping through rings of fire to bring his
> > > uninterested audience their
> > > daily bulletin.
> > >
> > > The lunatic was not picky about his sources – far
> > > away, in the nether
> > > regions of the hinterland, news was on the move.
> > > Stories hitched
> > > themselves to the hemlines of sarees, stuck
> > > themselves to the rubber
> > > soles of countless Hawaii chappals and stealthily
> > > made their way
> > > across the vast countryside to Bara Tuti – the heart
> > > of Delhi and the
> > > centre of the universe.  Suppressed by Aaj Tak, cast
> > > away by the
> > > Dainik Jagran, termed irrelevant by the English
> > > media, reports wormed
> > > their way though the narrow gullies, seeking out the
> > > lunatic – the
> > > half-mad oracle of half-truths, the Zen master of
> > > Chinese Whispers.
> > > In his ceaseless quest for the truth, the lunatic
> > > gave each story a
> > > fair hearing - nothin was too sensational, or
> > > boring, to escape the
> > > glory of the evening bulletin."Lallo Prasad Yadav
> > > has bought a new
> > > house in Patna near Anurag Bhavan," "Manmohan Desai,
> > >  (sic) the new
> > > prime minister, studied commerce in college."  "Kala
> > > Baba has
> > > recovered from tuberculosis, he is now in
> > > Nanital, cleaning up his act. Sources say he has
> > > never looked this
> > > good."  His audience suffered him as best they could
> > > , "Aur kuch
> > > nahin, toh sala time toh kat jata hai.  But saale se
> > > bach ke raho, voh
> > > pagal nahin hai, bus lagta hai."
> > >
> > > And then, as suddenly as he had arrived, he was
> > > gone.  A puff of ganja
> > > laced smoke, a small hand flashed out towards the
> > > large plastic bag on
> > > the floor, and with without as much as second
> > > glance, JP Singh Pagal,
> > > "Sadak Chaap, awara, deewana," was off in search of
> > > the next breaking
> > > story, humming tunelessly to himself, oblivious to
> > > hunt for a missing
> > > ten rupee note.  "Dekh tere sansar ki halat kya ho
> > > gayi bhagwaan,
> > > kitna badal gaya insaan."
> > >
> > > Part II: The Philosopher's Stone.
> > >
> > > The philosopher looked up at the sky, and then at
> > > the grinning,
> > > clearly stoned, face of his departing co-anchor.  He
> > > cleared his
> > > throat, and waited.  Ever courteous, the crowd
> > > settled down– allowing
> > > him the opportunity to keep them waiting.  He lit a
> > > beedi, the crowd
> > > waited, and waited, and waited, for the first
> > > cryptic utterance. His
> > > large hyptonic eyes panned across the sweating
> > > crowd, his lips pouted
> > > ever so slightly, and then he said, "Humme nazar aa
> > > raha hai – ek
> > > talab phel ke thanda pada ho."  The crowd shifted,
> > > "ek kankar mar do –
> > > ek kankar mar do , toh poora talab hil jayega."
> > > Someone in the
> > > audience cleared
> > > his throat, the philosopher leaned back, watching
> > > the metaphor ripple
> > > through his audience. "Sheeshe mein dekh lo, safa
> > > pani mein dekh lo –
> > > chehra toh vahi hai." " Pur sheeshe ko pocket mein
> > > dal sakte ho." He
> > > added as an afterthought.
> > >
> > > While the lunatic was clearly not one to be trusted,
> > > the philosopher
> > > was a mysterious chap: tall, dark and given to
> > > macabre allusions.  He
> > > spoke rarely, but forcefully, and "jab voh mood mein
> > > aata tha," he
> > > could silence even the most loquacious lunatic.
> > > "Kya tume pata hai,
> > > ki Dilli toot rahi hai?"  The crowd nodded in
> > > acquiescence.  Indeed,
> > > Dilli was coming apart.  Not slowly and steadily
> > > like an old leather
> > > chappal, but with the force and fury of an
> > > overloaded plastic bag.  A
> > > jagging, ripping tear that threatened not just their
> > > homes, but struck
> > > at the very heart of the mandi's business –
> > > construction.  A dark
> > > force was gathering on the borders of Bara Tuti –
> > > heart of Dilli and
> > > centre of the universe. An insidious ploy that
> > > sought to replace the
> > > centuries old, "rule of thumb" by the brutal "rule
> > > of law".  A shrill,
> > > elite-middle class scream, urging the Courts to
> > > "Judge
> > === message truncated ===
> >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
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> >
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