[Reader-list] Translation, Guilt, Innocence and Two Cups of Coffee

[zainab]

Dear Shuddha (and Pawan and all),

I am quite disconcerted when you say: "I hope we can go back to the
ordinary, everyday life of the list soon, a lot of interesting postings
from Sarai Independent Fellows are standing neglected because of the
tornadoes that have hit the list of late, but I am sure we will find ways
of getting back to an even keel soon. I look forward to lots of different
writing on lots of different issues from many correspondents." I understand
that the idea of the reader-list is various conversations that can happen
simultaneously/parallel/one at a time. Surely, this discussion starting
with 'allegations' flying around regarding Sanjay Kak's movie 'being
screened by cancelling the screening of RIK' has gotten a lot of people
interested to the extent that those who were 'silent lurkers' are also
coming up and speaking and I personally think this is very fruitful for the
very purpose of this list (if I can say so without sounding presumptious).
As for postings by Sarai I-fellows and by other correspondents, they can
continue irrespective and those who want to pay attention to these other
postings, will give their attention and responses despite the discussions
on Kak, Jashn-e-Azaadi, Kashmir, freedom of speech, the nation, S.A.R.
Geelani, etc. I am wondering what is this 'even keel' in the context of
this list that you are talking about? Maybe something to think about ... or
elaborate on. I believe that the value of this thread of conversations is
that it is getting a lot of us to get up, think, retort, respond, find out,
etc. about these questions of nation, identity, displacement, homelessness,
etc. which we have either assumed or learnt from somewhere or reasoned out
for ourselves and to not just do a one-time reasoning, but to keep
introspecting on them. I hope we are not beginning to pose these exchanges
as a 'us-versus-them' battle because as far as I am concerned, I think
there is no us-versus-them but a continuum where I can tomorrow be as
illogical, angry, hasty, retorting as our four dear friends if something is
done to me or against me which is tragic, violent, etc.  

Having said the above, I want to go back to Pawan's email and especially to
this statement he makes where he says: "Lastly , thank you for your lip
service about Kashmiri Pandits. It is akin to the occasional Hurriyat
statements about Kashmiri Pandits. How I wish If you could have spared 1%
of energy to know the facts of miseries of kashmiri pandits and start
helping them ....instead of......" Here is my question - what is this
lament that Pawan is making? What is this misery, suffering and sorrow? Is
this the lament of all Kashmiri Pandits or is Pawan trying to speak for
them all when all of them do not have this lament? Is this misery,
suffering, this memory of home, the tragedy of displacement so strong that
we cannot seem to get out of it? To me it appears like an excuse to not
confront something much more difficult which is talking to 'the enemy' or
'the other'. I am not interested in listening to Pawan, Aditya, Rashneek,
Kshemendra or anyone else responding to me by saying, "how would you feel
if your mother or sister were raped?" or "how would you feel if you were
asked to get out of the place which was your home?" My family and I have
experienced violence during the riots of 1993 in Bombay and I keep
listening to different people saying how Muslims should get out of India
because Pakistan is their 'home' and that is where they should reside. I
feel very vulnerable when people ask me what religion I belong to. I feel
displaced (symbolically) everyday by these experiences and everyday I have
to ask myself this question 'where is home?'

I don't want to listen to the same stories of rape and violence simply
because this is making a rhetoric of the past. And this rhetoric is not
good enough reason to say, 'Kak is giving voice to the Hurriyat and to
Yasin Malik who are terrorists and who have displaced us from our homes and
Kak is being a separationist.' (If only Sanjay had the power to
separate/divide/disintegrate the nation!) That is no good reason because
from what I can understand, both Kashmiri Muslims (if that's how you want
to say it now) and Kashmiri Pandits have been and are upset with New Delhi
for having acted the way it did. We have every right to disagree with
Malik, with Kak, with the Hurriyat just as much as we have every right to
disagree with RIK, Ashok Pandit, the idea of Panun Kashmir, etc.
Disagreement does not mean that we are out to disintegrate the nation. It
seems that someone expressing a different point of view is like saying 'oh
my god! This is my enemy because s/he does not agree with me.' No good
logic.

One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in my life from the time I have
spent in Kashmir and from all the relations I have developed there is that
the easiest thing to do is to build a wall of memories, of lament, of
non-communication, of prejudices, of biases, etc. We feel very comfortable
by keeping this wall up and building it higher and higher. That way you
avoid 'seeing'. The most difficult thing to do is to go out there and
commmunicate with 'the other'/'the enemy' because when the pain lies in
trying to utter the first word, in saying the first sentence ...

Best,

Zainab

 





On Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:53:11 +0530, "Pawan Durani" <pawan.durani at gmail.com>
wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>"I hope we can go back to the ordinary, everyday life of the
list soon, a lot of interesting postings from Sarai Independent Fellows are
standing neglected because of the tornadoes that have hit the list of late,
but I am sure we will find ways of getting back to an even keel soon. I
look forward to lots of different writing on lots of different issues from
many correspondents."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> 
> 
> Respected Suddha Ji ,
> 
> NamaskAr
> 
> With your concluding para , i believe you have conveyed a message that
you
> no longer wish to debate or discuss this issue. I do understand that it
is
> painful to change a stand for which you have stood for a long time , even
> if
> the reality check gives a different view. Anyway , that is your choice
and
> we cant force a discussion.
> 
> However I wish to request you to kindly save the words like "Tornadoes"
> for
> those who deserve it. If having a different view is being seen as a
> "tornadoes" by you , i can understand how "liberal & democratic" you are.
> 
> I may not be as intelligent as you think of yourself, but I wish to
remind
> you that I have been born in a Kashmiri family, never stayed out of
> Kashmir
> at length for 18 years of my life till my house was burnt and we were
> chased
> out in the middle of night along with lacs of others. In my whole family
> everyone is a kashmiri and we speak kashmiri . So atleast I have better
> knowledge of Kashmiri than you can teach me. Your teaching me what a
> particular sentence means in Kashmiri is as good as me giving you lecture
> about "Prathom Alo".
> 
> I also do not wish to carry on the debate any further , as you chose to
> ignore all arguments .About the screenings part , it is Sanjay & his team
> and RIK & team who know the fact.The reason I spoke about Sanjays
> "testimony" was to give you an idea of Sanjays reliability. Sampat
Prakash
> I
> know since ages ,much better than any of you.
> 
> Rest God knows where the truth lies. Of course you dont believe God as
> well.
> 
> You may carry on with your idea where you state "I hope we can go back to
> the ordinary, everyday life of the list soon.............. but I am sure
> we
> will find ways of getting back to an even keel soon". That is what I
> believe
> a "Mutual Admiration Society " stands for !
> 
Lastly , thank you for you lip service about Kashmiri Pandits. It is akin
to the occasional Hurriyat statements about Kashmiri Pandits. How I wish If
you could have spared 1% of energy to know the facts of miseries of
kashmiri pandits and start helping them ....instead of......
> 
> God Bless You All
> 
> Pawan Durani
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