[Reader-list] kashmir story, but true

[Inder Salim]

Even if I was a writer, I will find it difficult to write.  But here
it is, in simple words, with very little of what might have actually
happened that night. This is just one case, so nothing to generalize,
and there is a lot to imagine:

To begin with, Kashmir has two distinct identities, One Muslim and
other Hindu identity. Proportion wise there is no contrast, but if we
see it in historical  perspective, then  the hindu identity looks as
much visible as Muslim .

It is here that both the communities have a bond, a strange one that
the cruel times of 1990 could not erase from  their collective memory.

We all know Kashmiri Pandits migrated from the valley to Jammu and
other parts of India when Kashmiri uprising actually thought of
erasing all those traces in Kashmir which are associated with India.
Kashmiri Pandit was one such visible face of that long list of Indian
articles. So, KP’s had to move out leaving  behind home and hearth,
friends and fields, and I largely blame Indian Kashmir policy for
that.  Hate between these two communities hit the lowest during that
time, but times, as we know have different things in store, and we see
lot of hugs and warm exchanges between the two communities.  Muslims
help KPs as and when they visit valley, and Hindus too support their
children outside Kashmir. The bond is really deeper than what
politically remains elusive.

But, when Mr. Anil ( named changed ) a KP visited his village he was
surprised by  something more than  a warm hug. Mr. Anil is a 1990
graduate but could not find a job in Jammu and is still unemployed and
a bachelor. His family’s ancestral land is quite in shambles, and he
is thinking to dispose that property to live decently in Jammu. That
is that.

On entering his village he met his class mates and other friends who
are now married and living independently. During his month long stay
in his village he spent nights at homes of  different friends.

It happened one night, during his stay when he was surprised by a mid
night whisper. It was his friend, Nazir ( name changed), who  was
offering him to have sex with his wife.  Mr. Anil, said no, no, but
Nazir insisted and wanted sincerely to gift something meaningful to
his friend, something different, so the idea of offering him his wife
was born.  Anil accepted the offer after he initially hesitated, which
followed by a repeat next day even.  One woman between two friends:
one hindu and other muslim. In simple words it was a group sex, but
Anil is now guilty and feels that it was too animal like, as Nazir’s
wife was not a willing partner in all of that.

Nazir is an ex-militant, which Anil knew  since 1990. Anil and Nazir
have an inbuilt trust between them and that easily translated into
Anil’s willingness to stay at his home for couple of nights, and even
accept the most dangerous offer.  This  Kashmiri woman’s  role easily
falls into the popular feminist discourse, and questions the very
nature of male oriented agendas around our political spectrum.

Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two reasons. One, that Nazir
had actually experienced group sex during his activist days, and does
not see it as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in the Anil’s
presence in his home, which he knew not how to express, because he is
poor and can not offer him a gift.  Is KP still a purer breed in
Kashmir,  I am wondering?

And, as we know, woman  suffered terribly in Kashmir. First it was
Nazir and his friends who were given hero’s welcome wherever they went
with arms, and were obviously not stopped for their sexual excitement
during nights at different hide outs in different homes. And the
victim: as usual a woman.

But what happened at Nazir’s home has different layering besides what
happens during group sex etc. Anil and Nazir are perhaps restoring
this bond at the cost of a dignity of a woman, which Nazir could not
see that evening, and Anil is seeing it now. I am sure, Nazir too must
be feeling  guilty somewhere in his heart, Anil told me.

Now the question is do we suggest Nazir to meet a psychoanalyst? Is he
sick, or is he too a victim of circumstances. Or he is simply a male,
who does not know how to measure the dignity of a woman.  Or is Anil
to blame for what he agreed to do with a helpless woman in the
presence of her husband.

Comments please

With love and regards
Inder salim





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http://indersalim.livejournal.com