[Reader-list] kashmir story, but true

[A.K. Malik]

Dear Mr Salim and Mr Kak,
                             I am unable to understand the logic of the story/incident making it a Hindu-Muslim love/friendship story.There is nothing Hinduism or Muslimism in the context of the incident, it is purely a private affair between three adult persons.
From a pure legalistic angle Sec 497 of the Indian Penal Code states as under:
"Section 497. Adultery

    Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall be punishable as an abettor."
It is obvious that the husband's consent was there.But if the wife had also consented as seems evident ,it is a completely private affair between themselves and they need not be ashamed of it since all are adults and have consented without any duress.If there is remorse on the part of any individual,the process is irreversible.The only obvious advice would be not to get tempted by such offers in future and refrain from it.
However if the wife had not consented, it would amount to be rape under Sec 376 punishable appropriately.
I also agree with Mr Kak that the story/incident is not in good taste.The intent of the author is also not understandable.
With regards,

(A.K.MALIK)


--- On Tue, 10/13/09, Sanjay Kak <kaksanjay at gmail.com> wrote:

> From: Sanjay Kak <kaksanjay at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] kashmir story, but true
> To: "Inder Salim" <indersalim at gmail.com>
> Cc: "reader-list" <reader-list at sarai.net>
> Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 11:48 AM
> Dear Inder
> 
> I found your post quite disturbing, and even distasteful,
> and not because I
> am a prude.
> You say at the end: "Now the question is do we suggest
> Nazir to meet a
> psychoanalyst?"
> If Nazir does exist, a poor Kashmiri, a former militant, I
> doubt whether he
> has access to the services of a psychoanalyst. But I think
> it is as
> important for the likes of us—and you included,
> Inder—who could fruitfully
> use the tools of psychoanalysis to interrogate our own
> projections.
> 
> As far as I am concerned, whether Nazir exists, or Anil
> exists, or the story
> is "true", is immaterial.
> What matters is your telling of it: you are the author of
> this particular
> text for me.
> In particular I draw your attention to the following
> paragraph:
> "Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two
> reasons. One, that Nazir had
> actually experienced group sex during his activist days,
> and does not see it
> as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in the Anil’s
> presence in his home,
> which he knew not how to express, because he is poor and
> can not offer him a
> gift.  Is KP still a purer breed in Kashmir,  I
> am wondering?"
> 
> Since you are "wondering" Inder, could you care to explain
> why the thought
> crossed your mind, the surprising idea that the Kashmiri
> Pandit is "still a
> purer breed in Kashmir"? Purer than what? And how?
> And the insight that Nazir had actually experienced what
> you call "group
> sex" in his activist days, and did not see it as sin...
> this is clearly your
> insight, or am I reading your narrative incorrectly?
> 
> I dont wish to over-read your narrative, but as someone who
> has spent a
> great deal of time—even on this list—arguing for
> complex, layered readings
> of the simplest things, you of all people, Inder, should be
> the last person
> to author a clunky, crude, and often puerile narrative.
> I look forward to a more nuanced unpacking of your tale.
> 
> Warmly
> 
> Sanjay Kak
> 
> On Sun, Oct 11, 2009 at 2:57 PM, Inder Salim <indersalim at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> 
> > Even if I was a writer, I will find it difficult to
> write.  But here
> > it is, in simple words, with very little of what might
> have actually
> > happened that night. This is just one case, so nothing
> to generalize,
> > and there is a lot to imagine:
> >
> > To begin with, Kashmir has two distinct identities,
> One Muslim and
> > other Hindu identity. Proportion wise there is no
> contrast, but if we
> > see it in historical  perspective, then  the
> hindu identity looks as
> > much visible as Muslim .
> >
> > It is here that both the communities have a bond, a
> strange one that
> > the cruel times of 1990 could not erase from 
> their collective memory.
> >
> > We all know Kashmiri Pandits migrated from the valley
> to Jammu and
> > other parts of India when Kashmiri uprising actually
> thought of
> > erasing all those traces in Kashmir which are
> associated with India.
> > Kashmiri Pandit was one such visible face of that long
> list of Indian
> > articles. So, KP’s had to move out leaving 
> behind home and hearth,
> > friends and fields, and I largely blame Indian Kashmir
> policy for
> > that.  Hate between these two communities hit the
> lowest during that
> > time, but times, as we know have different things in
> store, and we see
> > lot of hugs and warm exchanges between the two
> communities.  Muslims
> > help KPs as and when they visit valley, and Hindus too
> support their
> > children outside Kashmir. The bond is really deeper
> than what
> > politically remains elusive.
> >
> > But, when Mr. Anil ( named changed ) a KP visited his
> village he was
> > surprised by  something more than  a warm
> hug. Mr. Anil is a 1990
> > graduate but could not find a job in Jammu and is
> still unemployed and
> > a bachelor. His family’s ancestral land is quite in
> shambles, and he
> > is thinking to dispose that property to live decently
> in Jammu. That
> > is that.
> >
> > On entering his village he met his class mates and
> other friends who
> > are now married and living independently. During his
> month long stay
> > in his village he spent nights at homes of 
> different friends.
> >
> > It happened one night, during his stay when he was
> surprised by a mid
> > night whisper. It was his friend, Nazir ( name
> changed), who  was
> > offering him to have sex with his wife.  Mr.
> Anil, said no, no, but
> > Nazir insisted and wanted sincerely to gift something
> meaningful to
> > his friend, something different, so the idea of
> offering him his wife
> > was born.  Anil accepted the offer after he
> initially hesitated, which
> > followed by a repeat next day even.  One woman
> between two friends:
> > one hindu and other muslim. In simple words it was a
> group sex, but
> > Anil is now guilty and feels that it was too animal
> like, as Nazir’s
> > wife was not a willing partner in all of that.
> >
> > Nazir is an ex-militant, which Anil knew  since
> 1990. Anil and Nazir
> > have an inbuilt trust between them and that easily
> translated into
> > Anil’s willingness to stay at his home for couple of
> nights, and even
> > accept the most dangerous offer.  This 
> Kashmiri woman’s  role easily
> > falls into the popular feminist discourse, and
> questions the very
> > nature of male oriented agendas around our political
> spectrum.
> >
> > Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two
> reasons. One, that Nazir
> > had actually experienced group sex during his activist
> days, and does
> > not see it as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in
> the Anil’s
> > presence in his home, which he knew not how to
> express, because he is
> > poor and can not offer him a gift.  Is KP still a
> purer breed in
> > Kashmir,  I am wondering?
> >
> > And, as we know, woman  suffered terribly in
> Kashmir. First it was
> > Nazir and his friends who were given hero’s welcome
> wherever they went
> > with arms, and were obviously not stopped for their
> sexual excitement
> > during nights at different hide outs in different
> homes. And the
> > victim: as usual a woman.
> >
> > But what happened at Nazir’s home has different
> layering besides what
> > happens during group sex etc. Anil and Nazir are
> perhaps restoring
> > this bond at the cost of a dignity of a woman, which
> Nazir could not
> > see that evening, and Anil is seeing it now. I am
> sure, Nazir too must
> > be feeling  guilty somewhere in his heart, Anil
> told me.
> >
> > Now the question is do we suggest Nazir to meet a
> psychoanalyst? Is he
> > sick, or is he too a victim of circumstances. Or he is
> simply a male,
> > who does not know how to measure the dignity of a
> woman.  Or is Anil
> > to blame for what he agreed to do with a helpless
> woman in the
> > presence of her husband.
> >
> > Comments please
> >
> > With love and regards
> > Inder salim
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> >
> > http://indersalim.livejournal.com
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