[Reader-list] kashmir story, but true

Wed Oct 14 21:46:15 IST 2009

Dear Shbar
thanks for response,

i will come again on this entire thing again, but deconstructing a lot,

i met this man Anil , a kashmiri but a stranger, in a train, who told
me this about his school time friend Nazir.   so may be he narrrated
me something which has not actually happned, but i trusted him and
posted the story as it is, so nothing to dig deeper in
but, even if i knew him, wont it be unethical to expose him, and his
freind Nazir back in kashmir. and who will take the responibltiy
of the victim , his wife? what if she is attacked by the those who
consider her sinful after knowing the story,

That is why, i raised the issue, of the voiceless, which does not mean
that we can make the vulneralble more vulnerable

with love and regards
inder salim

On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 11:28 AM, SHABIR DAR <shabirdar99 at gmail.com> wrote:
> it is obviously very shocking to read ur piece. Has it really happened that
> a man out of his personal compulsons or whatever, gifts his wife's modesty
> to his friend. i can not deny i might not have happened. Bt i m nt convinced
> with ur stry. if u could have interviewed both friends, and the woman and
> put their excerpts, ur stry cud have been mre credible. Inderji i m a
> journalist, so i wanna to know more abt it. If u can plz let me know more
> abt this stry, i wl b obliged.
> Regards
> Shabir Dar
> Journalist
>
>
> On 10/10/09, Inder Salim <indersalim at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> Even if I was a writer, I will find it difficult to write.  But here
>> it is, in simple words, with very little of what might have actually
>> happened that night. This is just one case, so nothing to generalize,
>> and there is a lot to imagine:
>>
>> To begin with, Kashmir has two distinct identities, One Muslim and
>> other Hindu identity. Proportion wise there is no contrast, but if we
>> see it in historical  perspective, then  the hindu identity looks as
>> much visible as Muslim .
>>
>> It is here that both the communities have a bond, a strange one that
>> the cruel times of 1990 could not erase from  their collective memory.
>>
>> We all know Kashmiri Pandits migrated from the valley to Jammu and
>> other parts of India when Kashmiri uprising actually thought of
>> erasing all those traces in Kashmir which are associated with India.
>> Kashmiri Pandit was one such visible face of that long list of Indian
>> articles. So, KP’s had to move out leaving  behind home and hearth,
>> friends and fields, and I largely blame Indian Kashmir policy for
>> that.  Hate between these two communities hit the lowest during that
>> time, but times, as we know have different things in store, and we see
>> lot of hugs and warm exchanges between the two communities.  Muslims
>> help KPs as and when they visit valley, and Hindus too support their
>> children outside Kashmir. The bond is really deeper than what
>> politically remains elusive.
>>
>> But, when Mr. Anil ( named changed ) a KP visited his village he was
>> surprised by  something more than  a warm hug. Mr. Anil is a 1990
>> graduate but could not find a job in Jammu and is still unemployed and
>> a bachelor. His family’s ancestral land is quite in shambles, and he
>> is thinking to dispose that property to live decently in Jammu. That
>> is that.
>>
>> On entering his village he met his class mates and other friends who
>> are now married and living independently. During his month long stay
>> in his village he spent nights at homes of  different friends.
>>
>> It happened one night, during his stay when he was surprised by a mid
>> night whisper. It was his friend, Nazir ( name changed), who  was
>> offering him to have sex with his wife.  Mr. Anil, said no, no, but
>> Nazir insisted and wanted sincerely to gift something meaningful to
>> his friend, something different, so the idea of offering him his wife
>> was born.  Anil accepted the offer after he initially hesitated, which
>> followed by a repeat next day even.  One woman between two friends:
>> one hindu and other muslim. In simple words it was a group sex, but
>> Anil is now guilty and feels that it was too animal like, as Nazir’s
>> wife was not a willing partner in all of that.
>>
>> Nazir is an ex-militant, which Anil knew  since 1990. Anil and Nazir
>> have an inbuilt trust between them and that easily translated into
>> Anil’s willingness to stay at his home for couple of nights, and even
>> accept the most dangerous offer.  This  Kashmiri woman’s  role easily
>> falls into the popular feminist discourse, and questions the very
>> nature of male oriented agendas around our political spectrum.
>>
>> Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two reasons. One, that Nazir
>> had actually experienced group sex during his activist days, and does
>> not see it as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in the Anil’s
>> presence in his home, which he knew not how to express, because he is
>> poor and can not offer him a gift.  Is KP still a purer breed in
>> Kashmir,  I am wondering?
>>
>> And, as we know, woman  suffered terribly in Kashmir. First it was
>> Nazir and his friends who were given hero’s welcome wherever they went
>> with arms, and were obviously not stopped for their sexual excitement
>> during nights at different hide outs in different homes. And the
>> victim: as usual a woman.
>>
>> But what happened at Nazir’s home has different layering besides what
>> happens during group sex etc. Anil and Nazir are perhaps restoring
>> this bond at the cost of a dignity of a woman, which Nazir could not
>> see that evening, and Anil is seeing it now. I am sure, Nazir too must
>> be feeling  guilty somewhere in his heart, Anil told me.
>>
>> Now the question is do we suggest Nazir to meet a psychoanalyst? Is he
>> sick, or is he too a victim of circumstances. Or he is simply a male,
>> who does not know how to measure the dignity of a woman.  Or is Anil
>> to blame for what he agreed to do with a helpless woman in the
>> presence of her husband.
>>
>> Comments please
>>
>> With love and regards
>> Inder salim
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>> http://indersalim.livejournal.com
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>
>
> --
> Shabir Dar
> Rising Kashmir, Srinagar
>
> Cell: 9469243828

-- 

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