[Reader-list] Just one kiss...

[Rana Dasgupta]

Menso asks:

> In other words, if the media (movies, books, etc)
> had decided that
> the most romantic thing a guy and girl could do was
> shake hands 
> instead of a movie, and thus every movie resulting
> in an ending 
> handshake instead of that great kiss, would it's
> position be what the
> kiss is now? Could those two have been swapped or is
> it 'in our genes'
> to feel the need to kiss someone?

this particular brand of oral pleasure has a pretty
distinguished history and i'm sure there are
psychoanalytical accounts of why we feel an urge to
indulge in it.  those accounts probably explain why we
feel a sense of depth to the experience of kissing
that shaking hands doesn't usually deliver, and
probably relate it to the channeling of pleasure
through various bodily orifices/interfaces at various
stages of infant development.  if you trust such
accounts then kissing is not "in our genes" but it is
still a fairly universal part of pleasure, sexuality
and intimacy which is not just a result of media
images.

but i think the question you raise is interesting
simply because the kiss seems to be so unquestioned as
a metaphor for romantic love in film, song etc - so
much so that, as you suggest, it seems to be identical
with it.  though contemporary film does so much to
challenge discursive conventions, this convention
seems to remain fairly firmly in place: that it is
when the couple kisses that we know and they know they
are in love.  in "pretty woman" (OK - this isn't
challenging any conventions at all...) this is made
explicit: julia roberts plays a prostitute who does
"everything except kiss on the mouth" - so the shift
in her relationship with richard gere from that of
hooker and client to that of lovers is signalled to
all when they do just that.

this is curious, especially in film, since (with rare
exceptions) kissing (and sex) do not make for
interesting visuals.  the drama of a kiss is difficult
to express to people who are not the kissers.  it is
often at the moment of the kiss, therefore, that
cameras go vertiginously crazy and music tries to
outdo itself in emotional excess.  but still it's
difficult to get excited: the kiss as a shorthand for
love doesn't work hard enough anymore.

i can't help feeling that hindi movies or old-style
hollywood musicals do it better.  dance and song are
much more interesting metaphors for romantic love in
film than a kiss...

R

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