[Reader-list] Re: Syhlleti Marriage Documentation

[Dr. Reyhan Chaudhuri]

Dear Broadcaster,
I would like to know why "marriage is an important, influential,
far-reaching and holy institution" for the sylheti.org?.Should not
'education' be given that eminence?On second thoughts would not':a sound
sewage and sanitation  system" would be even more influential,far-reaching
for the wellbeing of our civilisation, both in the country-side and the
urban metropolis?
    It is commendable that dowry and sati were never prevalent among the tea
gardens and their annual blossoms of camellia sinensis.However you go on to
mention:-
>
" Marriage is one of the fundamental institutions we come across our lives
and hold significance for our whole lives. "
Many people could contradict that fact by pointing fingers at many members
of our population(admittedly a minority and very often a self-conscious'
minority)who never come across it in their lives as a personal experience
.Many who do ,do not consider it 'significant' enough to complete it or take
salient steps to see that it does not encompass their whole life.
You also say:-
                        "Like birth and death, this is also an event of
individual like and needless to mention, in its fundamental essence, it is
beyond caste, creed and religion."

Would you not agree:birth and death are organic events.And so would be
'giving birth'. However marriage to many would be a chronological event or
'coming of age' like the that of passing out of school or to join a college
or university.One that would mean to change your identity forever if not
atleast transform it? It could more likely be grouped in: The commencement
of a profession or a life-time employment /job placemement.It may often
require careful weighing of pros&cons or priorities but unfortunately
sometimes a no win,take it or leave it  situation.
Also in India is it really beyond caste and religion?Isn't that the
exception rather than the norm?This is one phenomenon directly based upon
caste and religion(and although there are many brave-hearted variants who
produce hybrids like me), people have actually gone to extraordinary lengths
to preserve this basis including the resort to violence and bloodshed.

There is also mention of 'horoscope matching' and 'event management
facilities'.Perhaps like many of the young people today  all over the
country,the bright young Sylhetis would be more concerned about  a matching
of 'economics' and 'attitude'.(
I hope these important matters shall also be investigated and researched
upon ,when you do the 'massive documentation'(as you call it) program.
    And do you really want to do event managememt?Let me tell you,you are
depriving  family members(read elderly /middle-aged/harrassed/overworked
women )of their greatest moment in life , in terms of emotion and
empowerment.I mean all the future mother-in-laws,brother-in-laws plus the
ubiquitous Pishis.........who for a brief point  in time shall find the
world oscillating around them .The true meaning of control and self-control
shall be unravelled to them....;This is probably  a truer fundamental social
institution than the one you talk of,do not be so heartless  to moonlight
upon them.
Kindly enlighten me. I   stand but also slouch  to be corrected.
Yours enquiringly,
R.Chaudhuri.
----- Original Message -----
From: <broadcaster at syhlleti.org>
To: <bhochka at yahoo.co.uk>; <tripurainfo at yahoo.com>;
<bhaskar_dhar18 at yahoo.com>
Cc: <roy at mantraonline.com>; <reyhanchaudhuri at eth.net>
Sent: Sunday, November 10, 2002 4:25 PM
Subject: Syhlleti Marriage Documentation


> Like all ethnic communities, Sylhetis consider marriage an important,
> influential, far-reaching and holy institution. We have Matrimonial
> Services for different communities but we don't have anything exclusively
> for Sylhetis as yet. As our commitment to our community, we are going to
> start an exclusive Sylheti Matrimonial over the web as well as in the
> conventional way. This Service Venture was not thought out by us
> independently but was told by a number of our readers, well-wishers,
> contributors and they gave us two striking historical facts regarding our
> Cultural Life,one of them includes marriage.
>
>
> Firstly, we are told that the custom of Dowry was never prevalent in
> Sylheti society - past of present. Secondly, when a substantial part of
> Greater Bengal had a prevalence of the ugly custom of Sati (i.e. burning
of
> widows, mostly of young at the funeral pyre of their husband) as late as
> 1829, Sylhet and Greater Sylhet never practiced the custom.
>
>
> As told before, we are going to start the Matrimonial Services through Web
> as well as through Conventional way through mail, office set-up etc. In
> addition, we are going to provide the following Services together, some
> locally and some remotely:
>
>
> 1. Horoscope Services.
>
> 2. Event Management Services.
>
>
> Marriage is one of the fundamental institutions we come across our lives
> and hold significance for our whole lives. Like birth and death, this is
> also an event of individual like and needless of mention, in its
> fundamental essence, it is beyond caste, creed and religion. Only in the
> customs, it varies.
>
>
> We are delighted to learn that Sylheti marriages are of very long duration
> and some customs in the marriage a cosmic importance. We will be eager to
> launch a massive documentation program on Sylheti Marriage.
>
>
> We are getting ourselves ready. Our team is working in full swing to
> provide you a comprehensive web interface. We are opening a office in
> Silchar with partners in all cities/towns in Eastern India. And if
> everything goes well, we will be formally launching the Matrimonial
> Services on 10th November'2002 at Silchar.
>
>
> We would be eager to know what you feel Please write to us at
> contact at syhlleti.org
>
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> ----
>
>
>
>