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[Zainab Bawa]

Sept 23 2002, Ahmedabad.

My stomach is knotted up in fear. 26 people have been killed in a
terrorist attack in some mandir in Gandhinagar. My fourth floor
flat in Dani Limda is too high to jump down. the road in front of
our flat is one of the many borders near Shah Alam Dargah. Much
had happened in this area just a few months back.
My dad calls up every half an hour to tell me the latest TV news.
We have no radio, no TV. If the mobile phone connections are cut
off, we are cut off from the world. Mobile connections were jammed
all afternoon. The night sky shows helicopter lights circling the
city. The knot in the bottom of my stomach grows tighter.
We watch and wait...
11pm
We have packed up essentials into a small bag. A change of
underclothes, all our money, camera, blank tapes... In case we
have to leave in a hurry.
The street in front of our flat is empty. Deserted. I have never
seen it empty, even at 2 in the morning.
We push off to our work place, Kasai ki Chali, Behrampura. On the
way I see young men collecting stones in the death of the night.
Men sit outside huddled in silence, anxiety and fear.
We reach Kasai ki Chali by 11:30. The people are outside, on the
stone benches. The children are mostly asleep. A few loiter
around, too scared to sleep.
We wait with the people of Kasai ki Chali. A fire cracker goes off
nearby. At this time of the night. Or is that a bomb?
Our nerves are frayed. The wait is maddening.
24 September
The night passed by eventlessly. Equations have been drawn between
the terrorist attack and the ongoing elections in Kashmir. VHP has
called for a bandh tomorrow. The State Congress has called for a
bandh today.
Some shops are closed. The city seems normal.
People have started shifting from the chali. Chan bibi is shifting
today.
Political statements are flying high and low. A nice mockery of
living they have made in the soverign socialst republic of India.


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