[Reader-list] hospital labour room as space for unheard voices

[kuldeep kaur]

I would like to share my interactions with Neelam. 
Neelam was admitted during emergency hours with a referral slip from Derabassi. Basically she was referred to PGI, but she preferred to come to Government Medical College and Hospital as it was nearer to Derabassi. She comes along with one female neighbour and her maternal aunt (Tai). She was from Lalru, Patiala residing in temporary kuccha house.
She was illiterate. She does not remember her date of birth. Rather she smiles at such questions. During interview, she was eager to narrate everything she was asked. According to her she had two sisters and five brothers. It was her first child. She was very happy about her first baby. According to her in our ‘Gujjar’ clan it is considered sin to use contraceptive as ‘it is against the will of God. If he is willing to give children, how can we resist Him.’
She considered pregnancy a natural process, which does not require any special care and ‘Girl or Boy is the choice of god, not ours. We have to obey him.’ About how many children she plans to give birth to, she again left it on the will of God.
On parenthood she simply said, “It is his or her fate. S/he will take care of her/himself”
The following statements made by her are simply defining the status of female in our society.
•	We do not own lands, women are never considered as property or landowners. It is amazing to hear it from you. How will they manage it?
•	We have to live in joint family otherwise who will take care of our children. We are laborer. We cannot stay with our children for twenty-four hours.
•	I do not know how a baby is born? Only God know. I heard from elder women that it is very painful and how let us see.
•	In older time delivery was much complex. Some women were used to die during this process. These are all matters of fate and will of God. Some children are really problem to her mother during delivery. Placenta was used to retain in those days, causing septicemia leading to death.
•	During menstruation it is auspicious to touch cooking utensils and preserved food. They become impure and useless.
After she delivering a male baby she was very happy. During making of birth certificate it was found that her husband was not there. Her maternal aunt performed all formalities and provides her necessary care. During interview of her maternal aunt, there were some amazing revealing as:-
•	Why a husband should accompany her wife during delivery? It is quite embarrassing? What will he do? In our clan it is shameful for a husband to take care of her wife during labour-process. Only woman can help another woman.
•	Women were not used to be so delicate in our times. We simply give birth to child during working in fields and cut the umbilical cord with ‘Datri’ (the blade-like instrument used to cut plants and crops).
•	There is tradition of ‘exchange marriage’ in our clan. We give our daughters in exchange of daughters-in-law. No dowry system is prevalent. If you harass your daughter-in-law, you are going to create problems for your own daughters.
•	We believe in ‘more hands-more work’. Children are blessing of God. We should adopt them without any discrimination, with open heart. Anyhow, sons are always preferred. Girls are good for working but sons are your identity.   

When they both were asked being alone if Neelam has to under gone Ceasaran-section due to some critical problem who would have helped them, they replied, “God and fate are ultimate. If he does not want you to live any longer, who can help you?”

kuldeep kaur
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://mail.sarai.net/pipermail/reader-list/attachments/20050322/67ec4ba4/attachment.html