[Reader-list] FWD:Well he's almost gone ( Name: Tony Blair )

[inder salim]

_---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Ana gonzalez" <tornerosb at hotmail.com>

>Well he's almost gone.............
>
>While on his morning walk, Prime Minister Tony Blair falls over, has a
>heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency ward at his
>nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time. So his soul
>arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
>
>"Welcome to Heaven," says Saint Peter, "Before you settle in, it seems
>there is a problem. We seldom see a politician around these parts, so we're
>not sure what to do with you."
>
>"No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer," says
>the PM.
>
>"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says
>that since the implementation of his new HEAVENCHOICES policy, you have to
>spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where
>you'll live for eternity."
>
>"But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," replies Blair.
>
>"I'm sorry ... but we have our rules and bureaucracy. " Peter interjects.
>
>And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down,
>down, down ... all the way to Hell.
>
>The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course.
>The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect
>21degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house.
>
>Standing in front of it is MPs from all the years of the Great British
>democracy. There are luminaries who had helped Blair over the years. The
>whole set of the Party leaders from the past were there . everyone
>laughing, happy, and casually, but expensively, dressed. They run to greet
>him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich
>at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf
>and then dine on lobster and caviar.
>
>The Devil himself comes up to Bliar with a frosty drink, "Have a tequila
>and relax, Tony!"
>
>"Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says Blair, dejectedly.
>
>"This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it
>just gets better from there!"
>
>So Tony takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks
>is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and
>pulls hilarious nasty pranks, like the ones he and Hewitt pulled with the
>NHS and with Kelly on Education.
>
>They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to
>go.Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Blair steps on the elevator
>and heads upward. When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and
>Saint Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old
>man says, opening the gate.
>
>So for 24 hours Blair is made to hang out with a bunch of honest,
>good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other
>than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or egotistical
>remark among them.
>
>No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not
>caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he
>knows and he isn't even treated like someone special!
>
>"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself. "Mandleson never prepared me for
>this!"
>
>The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in
>Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."
>
>With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Blair
>reflects for a minute ... then answers: "Well, I would never have thought
>I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really
>think I belong in Hell with my friends."
>
>So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down,
>all the way to Hell.
>
>The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a concrete jungle
>covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, kind of like the
>eeroded, infested areas that Prescott created in the South East housing
>blight.
>
>He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained
>together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic
>bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with
>grime.
>The Devil comes over to Blair and puts an arm around his shoulder.
>
>"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Tony, "Yesterday I was here and
>there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and
>drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a
>wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"
>
>The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs, "Yesterday we were
>campaigning; today you voted for us!"

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