[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

[A.K. Malik]

Hi Everyone,
             Why denigrate a beautiful male/female relationship because of a few aberrations in terms of eve teasing.Bullying takes place in schools,colleges, offices irrespective of gender.However in gender specific men try to show their power to women by eve-teasing. The perceptions of eve-teasing as per opinion polls can vary from culture to culture and country to country.It has been proved scientifically that men get attracted to women especially physically more beautiful ones .Even if they are with their spouses/girlfriends/female family members, they are unable to control themselves not to take notice and do look again and again.So far no problem.But when the same thing results into cat calls or physically touching women or  other indecent gestures, it is definitely shameful and must be condemned.I tend to agree to every bit of what Meera has written.
I am giving two small incidents which happened long back and would like to know whether these are eve teasing:
1.A young boy of 8/9 years in our Mohalla caught hold of a rat from a cage and tied its tail with a small rope type thing and was flinging on some girls in similar age group. The girls complained to me"Bhapaji (Brother) Yeh hamein roz aisee hi tang karta hai".I asked the boy "why are you doing this to the girls,if you like it, do it it to the boys". The little boy replied that he enjoyed it doing that to the girls only.
2. A man got interested in a woman teacher and would board the bus every afternoon and never did or spoke anything wrong to her.One day he got a seat with her and politely told her that he was interested in her.She told him she was married.The man said he was still interested in her.No indecent things done. The woman then raised an alarm and got the man beaten up for harassing her.
Wooing a woman by a man is has the most beautiful moments in a man's life.Now when wooing becomes eve-teasing, the distinction gets blurred.
Wherever aberrations are there, those are very clear as pointed out by Meera,but there are beautiful moments also. Why rob these from men?
   
(A.K.MALIK)


--- On Tue, 11/3/09, Kshmendra Kaul <kshmendra2005 at yahoo.com> wrote:

> From: Kshmendra Kaul <kshmendra2005 at yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
> To: "Meera Rizvi" <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> Cc: "Readers list Yousuf Sarai." <reader-list at sarai.net>
> Date: Tuesday, November 3, 2009, 2:53 PM
> Dear Meera
>  
> Very appropriately put by you:
>  
> """"' Eve teasing refers to situations which feel
> disempowering to a woman - where she feels scared, nervous
> and violated. ........ So, in short, eve teasing, simply
> defined is an attempt to brow beat a woman, to undermine her
> will and to snatch from her the freedom of choice. """""''
>  
> I do not agree though with the comment " These situations
> depict contempt rather than admiration."
>  
> Wonder if you would agree that there is some graded
> evaluation to be recognised ranging from the "eve teasing"
> of the pre-puberty years on to immediate-post-puberty years
> and onwards. Would it also be reasonable to distinguish
> between "eve teasing" and "sexual harrasment" with the later
> resorted to by men in such positions and situations where
> they find it easy to intimidate and bully.
>  
> Kshmendra
>  
> 
> --- On Mon, 11/2/09, Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> 
> 
> From: Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' -
> Opinion Poll Results
> To: "subhrodip sengupta" <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
> Cc: "Readers list Yousuf Sarai." <reader-list at sarai.net>
> Date: Monday, November 2, 2009, 9:13 AM
> 
> 
> Dear Subhrodip,
> 
> There is no problem in showing your liking for someone.
> Most women, and I
> speak as a woman, are flattered by genuine admiration even
> if they do not
> return it. Eve teasing refers to situations which feel
> disempowering to a
> woman - where she feels scared, nervous and violated. These
> situations
> depict contempt rather than admiration.
> 
> So, if I am waiting for walking on a lonely road, and
> someone rides their
> motorbike too close to me - I would consider it eve teasing
> even though they
> may not have touched or groped. If you are waiting on a
> lonely bus stop at a
> late hour and a car stops a few feet away from you, it
> makes most women
> nervous. On the other hand, if the same thing happened when
> one was with a
> gang of friends, it would not even register. Or if it did,
> it would be
> amusing.
> 
> So, in short, eve teasing, simply defined is an attempt to
> brow beat a
> woman, to undermine her will and to snatch from her the
> freedom of choice.
> Asking someone out politely is not eve teasing.
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Meera
> 
> 
> 
> 
>       
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