[Reader-list] kashmir story, but true

Wed Oct 14 00:00:34 IST 2009

"had actually experienced what you call "group sex" in his activist
days, and did not see it as sin... this is clearly your insight, or am
I reading your narrative incorrectly?"

No, Dear Sanjay, you are not reading it incorrectly,  Nazir ( name
changed ) had experienced such things during his activist days,  what
his friend Anil told me, and was not even thinking about it during
those days,  and that may have affacted his mind, and that is why he
visited his guest, in the middle of night, who was sleeping in other
room, and made an offer through a whisper.  As we see it was not
dscussed earlier, or planned, it must have occured to him suddenly, or
it was his fantasy to make his guest experince similar thing which he
experienced earlier, to repeat what he did one,  to make his partern
in the act,  and only a psychologist can make deeper analyses of it
all.

As i see, sometimes, some acts happen first and are later on thought
about. may be this too was one such,  so again, very difficult to
comment upon, given the political issue which is historically quite
heavier .

yes, i remember, Gh. Mohd Shad, my teacher once, who read a poem in
Shahitya Academy Delhi few years back, in kashmiri and then in
english,
it was titled THAR NANUK, ( heads and tails ) and the content of that
poem was the pain of a woman in kashmir who suffered at the hands of a
both a militant and a sevurity man. he used the sounds of approaching
foot steps in the poem which really made all of us silent and shocked
at the same time.

as much i was on hearing what Anil ( name changed ) told me.

regards
is

On Tue, Oct 13, 2009 at 11:48 AM, Sanjay Kak <kaksanjay at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Dear Inder
>
> I found your post quite disturbing, and even distasteful, and not because I am a prude.
> You say at the end: "Now the question is do we suggest Nazir to meet a psychoanalyst?"
> If Nazir does exist, a poor Kashmiri, a former militant, I doubt whether he has access to the services of a psychoanalyst. But I think it is as important for the likes of us—and you included, Inder—who could fruitfully use the tools of psychoanalysis to interrogate our own projections.
>
> As far as I am concerned, whether Nazir exists, or Anil exists, or the story is "true", is immaterial.
> What matters is your telling of it: you are the author of this particular text for me.
> In particular I draw your attention to the following paragraph:
> "Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two reasons. One, that Nazir had actually experienced group sex during his activist days, and does not see it as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in the Anil’s presence in his home, which he knew not how to express, because he is poor and can not offer him a gift.  Is KP still a purer breed in Kashmir,  I am wondering?"
>
> Since you are "wondering" Inder, could you care to explain why the thought crossed your mind, the surprising idea that the Kashmiri Pandit is "still a purer breed in Kashmir"? Purer than what? And how?
> And the insight that Nazir had actually experienced what you call "group sex" in his activist days, and did not see it as sin... this is clearly your insight, or am I reading your narrative incorrectly?
>
> I dont wish to over-read your narrative, but as someone who has spent a great deal of time—even on this list—arguing for complex, layered readings of the simplest things, you of all people, Inder, should be the last person to author a clunky, crude, and often puerile narrative.
> I look forward to a more nuanced unpacking of your tale.
>
> Warmly
>
> Sanjay Kak
>
> On Sun, Oct 11, 2009 at 2:57 PM, Inder Salim <indersalim at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> Even if I was a writer, I will find it difficult to write.  But here
>> it is, in simple words, with very little of what might have actually
>> happened that night. This is just one case, so nothing to generalize,
>> and there is a lot to imagine:
>>
>> To begin with, Kashmir has two distinct identities, One Muslim and
>> other Hindu identity. Proportion wise there is no contrast, but if we
>> see it in historical  perspective, then  the hindu identity looks as
>> much visible as Muslim .
>>
>> It is here that both the communities have a bond, a strange one that
>> the cruel times of 1990 could not erase from  their collective memory.
>>
>> We all know Kashmiri Pandits migrated from the valley to Jammu and
>> other parts of India when Kashmiri uprising actually thought of
>> erasing all those traces in Kashmir which are associated with India.
>> Kashmiri Pandit was one such visible face of that long list of Indian
>> articles. So, KP’s had to move out leaving  behind home and hearth,
>> friends and fields, and I largely blame Indian Kashmir policy for
>> that.  Hate between these two communities hit the lowest during that
>> time, but times, as we know have different things in store, and we see
>> lot of hugs and warm exchanges between the two communities.  Muslims
>> help KPs as and when they visit valley, and Hindus too support their
>> children outside Kashmir. The bond is really deeper than what
>> politically remains elusive.
>>
>> But, when Mr. Anil ( named changed ) a KP visited his village he was
>> surprised by  something more than  a warm hug. Mr. Anil is a 1990
>> graduate but could not find a job in Jammu and is still unemployed and
>> a bachelor. His family’s ancestral land is quite in shambles, and he
>> is thinking to dispose that property to live decently in Jammu. That
>> is that.
>>
>> On entering his village he met his class mates and other friends who
>> are now married and living independently. During his month long stay
>> in his village he spent nights at homes of  different friends.
>>
>> It happened one night, during his stay when he was surprised by a mid
>> night whisper. It was his friend, Nazir ( name changed), who  was
>> offering him to have sex with his wife.  Mr. Anil, said no, no, but
>> Nazir insisted and wanted sincerely to gift something meaningful to
>> his friend, something different, so the idea of offering him his wife
>> was born.  Anil accepted the offer after he initially hesitated, which
>> followed by a repeat next day even.  One woman between two friends:
>> one hindu and other muslim. In simple words it was a group sex, but
>> Anil is now guilty and feels that it was too animal like, as Nazir’s
>> wife was not a willing partner in all of that.
>>
>> Nazir is an ex-militant, which Anil knew  since 1990. Anil and Nazir
>> have an inbuilt trust between them and that easily translated into
>> Anil’s willingness to stay at his home for couple of nights, and even
>> accept the most dangerous offer.  This  Kashmiri woman’s  role easily
>> falls into the popular feminist discourse, and questions the very
>> nature of male oriented agendas around our political spectrum.
>>
>> Nazir’s offer to Anil comes  because of two reasons. One, that Nazir
>> had actually experienced group sex during his activist days, and does
>> not see it as sin, and secondly he saw a meaning in the Anil’s
>> presence in his home, which he knew not how to express, because he is
>> poor and can not offer him a gift.  Is KP still a purer breed in
>> Kashmir,  I am wondering?
>>
>> And, as we know, woman  suffered terribly in Kashmir. First it was
>> Nazir and his friends who were given hero’s welcome wherever they went
>> with arms, and were obviously not stopped for their sexual excitement
>> during nights at different hide outs in different homes. And the
>> victim: as usual a woman.
>>
>> But what happened at Nazir’s home has different layering besides what
>> happens during group sex etc. Anil and Nazir are perhaps restoring
>> this bond at the cost of a dignity of a woman, which Nazir could not
>> see that evening, and Anil is seeing it now. I am sure, Nazir too must
>> be feeling  guilty somewhere in his heart, Anil told me.
>>
>> Now the question is do we suggest Nazir to meet a psychoanalyst? Is he
>> sick, or is he too a victim of circumstances. Or he is simply a male,
>> who does not know how to measure the dignity of a woman.  Or is Anil
>> to blame for what he agreed to do with a helpless woman in the
>> presence of her husband.
>>
>> Comments please
>>
>> With love and regards
>> Inder salim
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>> http://indersalim.livejournal.com
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