[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

[subhrodip sengupta]

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
To: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 9:13:38 PM
Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results


Again what is the problem with showing a liking towards soebody's feature.
Does liking translate into disrespect or necessary intrusion into another's space? Emotionally does it mean I have to be beautiful to  my lover only?
The word only causes the problem. I am against  disaalowing somebody of the beauties I enjoy. Isn't it true one need to  objectify this as well. Self imposing oneself as a moral guardian only increases the problem. Let me be more precise one of my best friends left me only because she felt I was too dumb.
Regarding Rakesh's convinction, may I ask if he had a recipe which the women used to ward off eve-teasers? Sone sort of charm that does not at least attract the wrong attraction?
Taking up Ur's contribution regards US, Amit in Delhi, I have resolutely stopped looking at Vests and T-shirts of my dear womenfolk. I do not care that much for staring at boobs, but that I could not controll my emotions after reading whats on them. what I mean is, the intent of fashion is often different from activism. Because i wear something does not mean I mean it, so any kind of awareness movement or protest in the Us has not been strong, lest effective. Regarding Sensitisation, creating gender awareness, let me share my experience with U all. Every time the matter of the conversation would be diverted to a hypporictic world, as to how others ought to behave, and that would involve Rama Sita, and a hollocaust.  Onl at times we really talked about how women and men see each other, how could we set space for others---- men and women to come along. After all a public slur at one's sister is not the best greeting everybody likes in the morning! 
One should remember eve-teasing is only one form of harrasment, so gender abuse at work place, talking about somebody's sex life or breasts or even asking for favour is not eveteasing, touching private parts in a bus, definitely is. The distinction is the intimacy and purpose, other than that of getting laid, which is just face of gender behaviour what is the purpose? And as one of my friends used to tell me, Do not fear anything or anyone, ................... Bear the consequences of your action as well... What is the problem to accept that we accidentally hurt someone? What is the problem in getting slapped?

 



________________________________
From: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
To: Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
Cc: Sarai List <reader-list at sarai.net>; Hemangini Gupta <hemanginig at gmail.com>; Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at rediffmail.com>
Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 7:24:42 PM
Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

Regarding Kshemendra's query, for the record and speaking as a man, "talking
to breasts" is a very common occurrence and lived reality for women not only
in India but also other places. I recall t-shirts worn by women in the US
where the line "I am up here" with an arrow pointing towards the head is
printed across the chest. This is a form of protest against the practice. It
is a type of objectification so common as to pass completely unnoticed by
the man doing it or seeing other men do it.

Amit

On Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 2:33 PM, Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com> wrote:

> Dear Chandni
>
> I think the larger problem is that the people who feel uncomfortable don't
> even open their mouth about it. And sometimes when they do, the society
> doesn't listen at all to them. And hence suggestions like these.
>
> What is required is not only a debate among intellectual classes, but even
> within the entire society. Here we have a society where if a rape were
> taking place on the streets, half of us would be engaged in watching it and
> even recording clips, some of whom would be even going to find out if they
> have a chance of enjoyment or not, and the others would ignore it and walk
> away. How many of us (including me) would actually like to be someone who
> is
> the evidence of the crime and hence speak out against the accused? And how
> many would actually go out and try to stop it, at least make an attempt?
>
> And on top of this, once the rape is over, the girl will be blamed, not the
> boy. As if the girl readily agreed for sex on the street to portray herself
> as a porn actress.
>
> I am quite happy though that such views are indeed coming across, and would
> like more such things. But we need to ask the questions which I did, in
> addition to of course, those which can talk about how such situations can
> be
> worked upon. In India, even the police and society generally says the same
> thing as the BJP candidate said.
>
> Rakesh
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-- 
Amit Basole
Department of Economics
Thompson Hall
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, MA 01003
Phone: 413-665-2463
http://www.people.umass.edu/abasole/
blog: http://thenoondaysun.blogspot.com/
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