[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

Mon Nov 2 09:13:29 IST 2009

Dear Subhrodip,

There is no problem in showing your liking for someone. Most women, and I
speak as a woman, are flattered by genuine admiration even if they do not
return it. Eve teasing refers to situations which feel disempowering to a
woman - where she feels scared, nervous and violated. These situations
depict contempt rather than admiration.

So, if I am waiting for walking on a lonely road, and someone rides their
motorbike too close to me - I would consider it eve teasing even though they
may not have touched or groped. If you are waiting on a lonely bus stop at a
late hour and a car stops a few feet away from you, it makes most women
nervous. On the other hand, if the same thing happened when one was with a
gang of friends, it would not even register. Or if it did, it would be
amusing.

So, in short, eve teasing, simply defined is an attempt to brow beat a
woman, to undermine her will and to snatch from her the freedom of choice.
Asking someone out politely is not eve teasing.

Regards,

Meera

On 11/1/09, subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> ----- Forwarded Message ----
> From: subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
> To: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
> Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 9:13:38 PM
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
>
>
> Again what is the problem with showing a liking towards soebody's feature.
> Does liking translate into disrespect or necessary intrusion into another's
> space? Emotionally does it mean I have to be beautiful to  my lover only?
> The word only causes the problem. I am against  disaalowing somebody of the
> beauties I enjoy. Isn't it true one need to  objectify this as well. Self
> imposing oneself as a moral guardian only increases the problem. Let me be
> more precise one of my best friends left me only because she felt I was too
> dumb.
> Regarding Rakesh's convinction, may I ask if he had a recipe which the
> women used to ward off eve-teasers? Sone sort of charm that does not at
> least attract the wrong attraction?
> Taking up Ur's contribution regards US, Amit in Delhi, I have resolutely
> stopped looking at Vests and T-shirts of my dear womenfolk. I do not care
> that much for staring at boobs, but that I could not controll my emotions
> after reading whats on them. what I mean is, the intent of fashion is often
> different from activism. Because i wear something does not mean I mean it,
> so any kind of awareness movement or protest in the Us has not been strong,
> lest effective. Regarding Sensitisation, creating gender awareness, let me
> share my experience with U all. Every time the matter of the conversation
> would be diverted to a hypporictic world, as to how others ought to behave,
> and that would involve Rama Sita, and a hollocaust.  Onl at times we really
> talked about how women and men see each other, how could we set space for
> others---- men and women to come along. After all a public slur at one's
> sister is not the best greeting everybody likes in the morning!
> One should remember eve-teasing is only one form of harrasment, so gender
> abuse at work place, talking about somebody's sex life or breasts or even
> asking for favour is not eveteasing, touching private parts in a bus,
> definitely is. The distinction is the intimacy and purpose, other than that
> of getting laid, which is just face of gender behaviour what is the purpose?
> And as one of my friends used to tell me, Do not fear anything or anyone,
> ................... Bear the consequences of your action as well... What is
> the problem to accept that we accidentally hurt someone? What is the problem
> in getting slapped?
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
> To: Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
> Cc: Sarai List <reader-list at sarai.net>; Hemangini Gupta <
> hemanginig at gmail.com>; Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at rediffmail.com>
> Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 7:24:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
>
> Regarding Kshemendra's query, for the record and speaking as a man,
> "talking
> to breasts" is a very common occurrence and lived reality for women not
> only
> in India but also other places. I recall t-shirts worn by women in the US
> where the line "I am up here" with an arrow pointing towards the head is
> printed across the chest. This is a form of protest against the practice.
> It
> is a type of objectification so common as to pass completely unnoticed by
> the man doing it or seeing other men do it.
>
> Amit
>
> On Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 2:33 PM, Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Dear Chandni
> >
> > I think the larger problem is that the people who feel uncomfortable
> don't
> > even open their mouth about it. And sometimes when they do, the society
> > doesn't listen at all to them. And hence suggestions like these.
> >
> > What is required is not only a debate among intellectual classes, but
> even
> > within the entire society. Here we have a society where if a rape were
> > taking place on the streets, half of us would be engaged in watching it
> and
> > even recording clips, some of whom would be even going to find out if
> they
> > have a chance of enjoyment or not, and the others would ignore it and
> walk
> > away. How many of us (including me) would actually like to be someone who
> > is
> > the evidence of the crime and hence speak out against the accused? And
> how
> > many would actually go out and try to stop it, at least make an attempt?
> >
> > And on top of this, once the rape is over, the girl will be blamed, not
> the
> > boy. As if the girl readily agreed for sex on the street to portray
> herself
> > as a porn actress.
> >
> > I am quite happy though that such views are indeed coming across, and
> would
> > like more such things. But we need to ask the questions which I did, in
> > addition to of course, those which can talk about how such situations can
> > be
> > worked upon. In India, even the police and society generally says the
> same
> > thing as the BJP candidate said.
> >
> > Rakesh
> > _________________________________________
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> >
>
>
>
> --
> Amit Basole
> Department of Economics
> Thompson Hall
> University of Massachusetts
> Amherst, MA 01003
> Phone: 413-665-2463
> http://www.people.umass.edu/abasole/
> blog: http://thenoondaysun.blogspot.com/
> _________________________________________
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> Critiques & Collaborations
> To subscribe: send an email to reader-list-request at sarai.net with
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-- 
Meera