[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

Mon Nov 2 15:10:11 IST 2009

Beyond this list;
Where I grew up, and at many other places, towns, villages, people have taken this too far.  Eve-teasing is a tool of aggression as well as a status symbol in a different way....
He was walking close to my house, had an eye on me.
People in a group pass by enjoying among themselves....."those boys passed remarks about me!"
On the other hand some women are of no-nonsense type and feel unnerved at such cases.....
Thats a point I'd suggest to take note at.
 Friendly playing is different from the point of criminal bullying, where the biggest flaw would be try and inject good sense, as if such an injection were available in market!

________________________________
From: Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
To: subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
Cc: Readers list Yousuf Sarai. <reader-list at sarai.net>
Sent: Mon, 2 November, 2009 9:13:29 AM
Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

Dear Subhrodip,

There is no problem in showing your liking for someone. Most women, and I speak as a woman, are flattered by genuine admiration even if they do not return it. Eve teasing refers to situations which feel disempowering to a woman - where she feels scared, nervous and violated. These situations depict contempt rather than admiration. 

So, if I am waiting for walking on a lonely road, and someone rides their motorbike too close to me - I would consider it eve teasing even though they may not have touched or groped. If you are waiting on a lonely bus stop at a late hour and a car stops a few feet away from you, it makes most women nervous. On the other hand, if the same thing happened when one was with a gang of friends, it would not even register. Or if it did, it would be amusing.

So, in short, eve teasing, simply defined is an attempt to brow beat a woman, to undermine her will and to snatch from her the freedom of choice. Asking someone out politely is not eve teasing.

Regards,

Meera

On 11/1/09, subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in> wrote: 

>
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>----- Forwarded Message ----
>From: subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
>To: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
>Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 9:13:38 PM
>Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
>
>
>Again what is the problem with showing a liking towards soebody's feature.
>Does liking translate into disrespect or necessary intrusion into another's space? Emotionally does it mean I have to be beautiful to  my lover only?
>The word only causes the problem. I am against  disaalowing somebody of the beauties I enjoy. Isn't it true one need to  objectify this as well. Self imposing oneself as a moral guardian only increases the problem. Let me be more precise one of my best friends left me only because she felt I was too dumb.
>Regarding Rakesh's convinction, may I ask if he had a recipe which the women used to ward off eve-teasers? Sone sort of charm that does not at least attract the wrong attraction?
>Taking up Ur's contribution regards US, Amit in Delhi, I have resolutely stopped looking at Vests and T-shirts of my dear womenfolk. I do not care that much for staring at boobs, but that I could not controll my emotions after reading whats on them. what I mean is, the intent of fashion is often different from activism. Because i wear something does not mean I mean it, so any kind of awareness movement or protest in the Us has not been strong, lest effective. Regarding Sensitisation, creating gender awareness, let me share my experience with U all. Every time the matter of the conversation would be diverted to a hypporictic world, as to how others ought to behave, and that would involve Rama Sita, and a hollocaust.  Onl at times we really talked about how women and men see each other, how could we set space for others---- men and women to come along. After all a public slur at one's sister is not the best greeting everybody likes in the morning!
>One should remember eve-teasing is only one form of harrasment, so gender abuse at work place, talking about somebody's sex life or breasts or even asking for favour is not eveteasing, touching private parts in a bus, definitely is. The distinction is the intimacy and purpose, other than that of getting laid, which is just face of gender behaviour what is the purpose? And as one of my friends used to tell me, Do not fear anything or anyone, ................... Bear the consequences of your action as well... What is the problem to accept that we accidentally hurt someone? What is the problem in getting slapped?
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>________________________________
>From: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
>To: Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
>Cc: Sarai List <reader-list at sarai.net>; Hemangini Gupta <hemanginig at gmail.com>; Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at rediffmail.com>
>Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 7:24:42 PM
>Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
>
>Regarding Kshemendra's query, for the record and speaking as a man, "talking
>to breasts" is a very common occurrence and lived reality for women not only
>in India but also other places. I recall t-shirts worn by women in the US
>where the line "I am up here" with an arrow pointing towards the head is
>printed across the chest. This is a form of protest against the practice. It
>is a type of objectification so common as to pass completely unnoticed by
>the man doing it or seeing other men do it.
>
>Amit
>
>On Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 2:33 PM, Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Dear Chandni
>>
>> I think the larger problem is that the people who feel uncomfortable don't
>> even open their mouth about it. And sometimes when they do, the society
>> doesn't listen at all to them. And hence suggestions like these.
>>
>> What is required is not only a debate among intellectual classes, but even
>> within the entire society. Here we have a society where if a rape were
>> taking place on the streets, half of us would be engaged in watching it and
>> even recording clips, some of whom would be even going to find out if they
>> have a chance of enjoyment or not, and the others would ignore it and walk
>> away. How many of us (including me) would actually like to be someone who
>> is
>> the evidence of the crime and hence speak out against the accused? And how
>> many would actually go out and try to stop it, at least make an attempt?
>>
>> And on top of this, once the rape is over, the girl will be blamed, not the
>> boy. As if the girl readily agreed for sex on the street to portray herself
>> as a porn actress.
>>
>> I am quite happy though that such views are indeed coming across, and would
>> like more such things. But we need to ask the questions which I did, in
>> addition to of course, those which can talk about how such situations can
>> be
>> worked upon. In India, even the police and society generally says the same
>> thing as the BJP candidate said.
>>
>> Rakesh
>> _________________________________________
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>
>
>
>--
>Amit Basole
>Department of Economics
>Thompson Hall
>University of Massachusetts
>Amherst, MA 01003
>Phone: 413-665-2463
>http://www.people.umass.edu/abasole/
>blog: http://thenoondaysun.blogspot.com/
>_________________________________________
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-- 
Meera 

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