[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

Wed Nov 4 21:27:53 IST 2009

Eve teasing could also be attributed to the general societal attitude
which saw woman as an unpaid factotum at home that is also meant to produce
babies. Outside she is seen as an object of desire- crass commercialisation of
media & the entertainment industry having largely supplemented the perversion.
Roving eyes out there in the streets are ever ready to disrobe visually. 

Chandni, since specialises in this subject she could as well elaborate on
the history, origin & evolution of the menace…???...

 In the Indian context it is rather
inexplicable that a culture that has more Goddesses than the gods where you
have temples dedicated to sexuality & where the society generally continues
to be matriarchal (in the sense that in spite of her socio-economic status ‘she’
remains a binding factor as well as a driving force) the obnoxious practice of
subjecting feminity to ignominy has been allowed to creep in & is
tolerated. Though the nuisance is prevalent all over, it appears to be more
widespread across the Vindyachals northwards.

It is quite normal for a man to be awed by a female figure. And very few
women will not desire to be admired by men. But that is no licence to violate
female modesty & deprive a human being of freedom. There could be potential
rapists amongst the eve teasers. That Maulan
 Azad Medical College
student went though the horror near her college in Delhi
in the middle of the day a couple of years ago. The culprit, then, was a
teenager.

It is a nightmare for the girls to travel by the public transport during
the peak rush hours in crowded buses where ‘groping’ is routine. It is even
worst when the gang of private bus attendants make provocative gestures &
comments in the backdrop of the jarring cheap music. It is disgusting that we tolerate
and those who attempt intervention face the wroth of the goons.

One wonders, there being so much of activism around, yet there is no
campaign against eve teasing? Anti ragging movement is gaining momentum why shouldn’t
there be awareness campaign about the day to day torture that ‘the other half
of the society’ undergoes everyday. Women have to come forward (men who fantasise
‘Adam teasing’ could volunteer too even if it was for the reversal of roles).

A long time ago my colleagues were shocked when they heard me
complimenting a telephone operator for her beautiful voice (gracefully
acknowledged by her-nobody had ever told her so) as if I had done something
utterly wrong.(CAUTION: today one could face sexual harassment charges-pls don’t
risk….).

Do we miss the culture of inter sex dignified exchange of compliments? An innocuous
“you look pretty in this salwar kammez; sari or skirt or trousers” particularly
in a vernacular language is sure to raise eyebrows. A lady commenting on a man’s
physical attributes risks her reputation.

By the way the other day at the Delhi
airport my attention was caught by something printed on a passenger’s T- shirt.
Unaware, I focussed attentively only to figure out that it was “How I was Lehed”
along with a ‘route map from Delhi
to Leh’. When I lifted my gaze up to take a look at the ‘adventurer’ I found
myself almost in a direct eye contact with a strikingly charming lady. Most probably
aware that she was being stared at, she nonchalantly continued to wait at the
same spot for the luggage to arrive. I sighed, I wasn’t too obtrusiveness after
all. Sad my luggage arrived first.

Regards all 

LA

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 19:53:21 -0800
> From: rahul_capri at yahoo.com
> To: meera.rizvi at gmail.com; kshmendra2005 at yahoo.com
> CC: reader-list at sarai.net
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
> 
> There obviously will be a fair bit of subjectivity involved in the interpretation of eve teasing,which is causing confusion to people.
> To me,the so called admiring the beauty of a girl will not be eve teasing,while a girl who experiences harassment for a large part of her both outdoor and indoor life,any such appreciation will be intimidating.
> 
> People adapt to their surroundings but it should be explicitly spelled it out in this case.If you are living in a society where more often than not strangers approaching girls have no sense of propriety, you should keep your well intentioned appreciation to yourself;or otherwise,approach the girl in a way that is least intimidating to her,preferably through a common acquaintance.
> 
> Please read blogs to see what girls feel about strangers who approach them.Your intention really does not matter,its how the girl perceives it is what matters.
> 
> Needless to say,if you were in say, the  U.S. of A, where girls live in a far more secure environment,you might not be required to be so careful and considerate.
> 
> 
> --- On Tue, 11/3/09, Kshmendra Kaul <kshmendra2005 at yahoo.com> wrote:
> 
> > From: Kshmendra Kaul <kshmendra2005 at yahoo.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
> > To: "Meera Rizvi" <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> > Cc: "Readers list Yousuf Sarai." <reader-list at sarai.net>
> > Date: Tuesday, November 3, 2009, 2:53 PM
> > Dear Meera
> >  
> > Very appropriately put by you:
> >  
> > """"' Eve teasing refers to situations which feel
> > disempowering to a woman - where she feels scared, nervous
> > and violated. ........ So, in short, eve teasing, simply
> > defined is an attempt to brow beat a woman, to undermine her
> > will and to snatch from her the freedom of choice. """""''
> >  
> > I do not agree though with the comment " These situations
> > depict contempt rather than admiration."
> >  
> > Wonder if you would agree that there is some graded
> > evaluation to be recognised ranging from the "eve teasing"
> > of the pre-puberty years on to immediate-post-puberty years
> > and onwards. Would it also be reasonable to distinguish
> > between "eve teasing" and "sexual harrasment" with the later
> > resorted to by men in such positions and situations where
> > they find it easy to intimidate and bully.
> >  
> > Kshmendra
> >  
> > 
> > --- On Mon, 11/2/09, Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> > 
> > 
> > From: Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' -
> > Opinion Poll Results
> > To: "subhrodip sengupta" <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
> > Cc: "Readers list Yousuf Sarai." <reader-list at sarai.net>
> > Date: Monday, November 2, 2009, 9:13 AM
> > 
> > 
> > Dear Subhrodip,
> > 
> > There is no problem in showing your liking for someone.
> > Most women, and I
> > speak as a woman, are flattered by genuine admiration even
> > if they do not
> > return it. Eve teasing refers to situations which feel
> > disempowering to a
> > woman - where she feels scared, nervous and violated. These
> > situations
> > depict contempt rather than admiration.
> > 
> > So, if I am waiting for walking on a lonely road, and
> > someone rides their
> > motorbike too close to me - I would consider it eve teasing
> > even though they
> > may not have touched or groped. If you are waiting on a
> > lonely bus stop at a
> > late hour and a car stops a few feet away from you, it
> > makes most women
> > nervous. On the other hand, if the same thing happened when
> > one was with a
> > gang of friends, it would not even register. Or if it did,
> > it would be
> > amusing.
> > 
> > So, in short, eve teasing, simply defined is an attempt to
> > brow beat a
> > woman, to undermine her will and to snatch from her the
> > freedom of choice.
> > Asking someone out politely is not eve teasing.
> > 
> > Regards,
> > 
> > Meera
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> >       
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> 
>       
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