[Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results

[A.K. Malik]

Dear Jasmeen Ji,
                I happened to see the blog site where girls are wearing tee shirts with caption " Step by Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking tees are ready".I am a little puzzled who is going to read  the entire message-is it meant for men? Again problem. or women? What is going to be achieved ?
Don't want to comment on the rest because it is substantially true and I see the harassment day-in day-out especially in the northern India. The blog on Bangalore seemed true until a few years back but is not true these days.Most women have males in their families.Why not try making them sane.It may perhaps solve the problem.
Regards,

(A.K.MALIK)


--- On Sun, 11/8/09, Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at gmail.com> wrote:

> From: Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [Reader-list] Fw: 'What Is Eve Teasing?' - Opinion Poll Results
> To: "Meera Rizvi" <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> Cc: "Readers list Yousuf Sarai." <reader-list at sarai.net>, "Hemangini Gupta" <hemanginig at gmail.com>
> Date: Sunday, November 8, 2009, 2:18 PM
> @ Meera and your response to
> Subhrodip
> 
> I agree that there is no problem in showing your liking
> towards someone ,
> but the question is HOW?
> how are you expressing it? does it sometimes take the form
> of stalking?
> 
> 10 years ago I was stalked for 15 kms. I was on the bus and
> he was on the
> bike and he stopped at every bus stop and then it was my
> turn to get off the
> bus.
> I had to confront him and ask him why he was stalking me.
> He said he only
> wanted to ask me out for coffee and then he laughed. It was
> frightening.
> Yes he simply expressed interest  in an unwanted
> aggressive persuasive
> manner. Could we put him in the category of men who hear
> 'yes for no'- (*ladki
> ki na mein haan hai*). Or how do we respond to Annie's
> story
> http://blog.blanknoise.org/2009/08/tale-of-lovelustwhateveritwas.html#links
> 
> What form does this expression take? How much of it is a
> series of
> misinterpretations? How much of it is intends to
> intimidate?
> 
> Blank Noise lists 'looking' in the 'eve teasing' opinioin
> poll and in the
> past it has been debated, questioned, rejected, accepted
> for its place
> there. This is not to say 'don't look' but to question HOW
> one is looking or
> how and or where one is looking.
> 
> @ Rakesh
> Yes women do have the right to protest, to respond, to
> react
> but it is extremely challenging to walk around believing
> you( female ) can,
> because there's been such a history of fearing men, and of
> public spaces
> that belong mostly to men. There's been a history of
> believing that if you
> experience harassment, it is your fault and that 'you ask
> for it'. Too many
> women feel guilt for having been violated on the streets,
> they never speak
> about it for reasons such as ' why draw further attention
> to yourself and
> the body' that too in public. Street sexual harassment has
> been internalized.
> It would be insightful to observe how women and men walk,
> who walks fast,
> slow, occupies the middle of the pavement, maintains eye
> contact, carries
> things and more things, is on the phone.
> http://blog.blanknoise.org/2009/06/step-by-step-guide-to-unapologetic.html
> 
> We create events that ask women to be Action Heroes by
> simply occupying the
> streets in an idle state. This intervention challenges both
> the participant
> ( Action Hero) and the public itself. What is it like for
> women to be on the
> street to do nothing, to not have the phone, to not be
> constantly looking at
> the time as though waiting for someone, to not look anxious
> and nervous.
> What happens to the street when it witnesses such an event.
> We have had rows
> of men waiting, waiting for something to happen, or men
> walk up to a girl
> who is just standing there to ask her ' why are you
> standing here'? Just
> standing idle on the street becomes provocative. These
> events are designed
> with a 'what if' scenario in mind. What if there were a 100
> idle yet
> 'unavailable' women on the street?
> The relationship with the city and public also becomes less
> fear based.
> 
> My grandmother tells me that when she was in 12  , she
> would nervously walk
> through the lanes with her friend to go to school. She said
> she was nervous
> because she was scared the boys might tease her and
> therefore her
> 'reputation might be tarnished'. A few years ago I heard
> about a 10 year old
> girl from a Delhi slum who stopped going to school because
> she was harassed
> and 'teased' everyday on her way to school. A  year
> ago I met someone who
> had stepped out alone for the first time in 20 years. This
> was in
> Manchester. She was of south asian origin and had been
> living in Manchester

> for 20 years. It was always assumed that she would go out
> with her family ,
> never alone. Her story is here:
> http://blog.blanknoise.org/2008/04/where-are-you-going.html
> 
> Some more thoughts on this here:
> http://blog.blanknoise.org/2009/10/on-being-asked-if-bangalore-is-safe-or.html#links
> 
> 
> Jasmeen
> 
> http://blog.blanknoise.org
> 
> 
> On Mon, Nov 2, 2009 at 9:13 AM, Meera Rizvi <meera.rizvi at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> 
> > Dear Subhrodip,
> >
> > There is no problem in showing your liking for
> someone. Most women, and I
> > speak as a woman, are flattered by genuine admiration
> even if they do not
> > return it. Eve teasing refers to situations which feel
> disempowering to a
> > woman - where she feels scared, nervous and violated.
> These situations
> > depict contempt rather than admiration.
> >
> > So, if I am waiting for walking on a lonely road, and
> someone rides their
> > motorbike too close to me - I would consider it eve
> teasing even though
> > they
> > may not have touched or groped. If you are waiting on
> a lonely bus stop at
> > a
> > late hour and a car stops a few feet away from you, it
> makes most women
> > nervous. On the other hand, if the same thing happened
> when one was with a
> > gang of friends, it would not even register. Or if it
> did, it would be
> > amusing.
> >
> > So, in short, eve teasing, simply defined is an
> attempt to brow beat a
> > woman, to undermine her will and to snatch from her
> the freedom of choice.
> > Asking someone out politely is not eve teasing.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Meera
> >
> >
> > On 11/1/09, subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ----- Forwarded Message ----
> > > From: subhrodip sengupta <sub_sengupta at yahoo.co.in>
> > > To: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
> > > Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 9:13:38 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?'
> - Opinion Poll Results
> > >
> > >
> > > Again what is the problem with showing a liking
> towards soebody's
> > feature.
> > > Does liking translate into disrespect or
> necessary intrusion into
> > another's
> > > space? Emotionally does it mean I have to be
> beautiful to  my lover only?
> > > The word only causes the problem. I am
> against  disaalowing somebody of
> > the
> > > beauties I enjoy. Isn't it true one need to 
> objectify this as well. Self
> > > imposing oneself as a moral guardian only
> increases the problem. Let me
> > be
> > > more precise one of my best friends left me only
> because she felt I was
> > too
> > > dumb.
> > > Regarding Rakesh's convinction, may I ask if he
> had a recipe which the
> > > women used to ward off eve-teasers? Sone sort of
> charm that does not at
> > > least attract the wrong attraction?
> > > Taking up Ur's contribution regards US, Amit in
> Delhi, I have resolutely
> > > stopped looking at Vests and T-shirts of my dear
> womenfolk. I do not care
> > > that much for staring at boobs, but that I could
> not controll my emotions
> > > after reading whats on them. what I mean is, the
> intent of fashion is
> > often
> > > different from activism. Because i wear something
> does not mean I mean
> > it,
> > > so any kind of awareness movement or protest in
> the Us has not been
> > strong,
> > > lest effective. Regarding Sensitisation, creating
> gender awareness, let
> > me
> > > share my experience with U all. Every time the
> matter of the conversation
> > > would be diverted to a hypporictic world, as to
> how others ought to
> > behave,
> > > and that would involve Rama Sita, and a
> hollocaust.  Onl at times we
> > really
> > > talked about how women and men see each other,
> how could we set space for
> > > others---- men and women to come along. After all
> a public slur at one's
> > > sister is not the best greeting everybody likes
> in the morning!
> > > One should remember eve-teasing is only one form
> of harrasment, so gender
> > > abuse at work place, talking about somebody's sex
> life or breasts or even
> > > asking for favour is not eveteasing, touching
> private parts in a bus,
> > > definitely is. The distinction is the intimacy
> and purpose, other than
> > that
> > > of getting laid, which is just face of gender
> behaviour what is the
> > purpose?
> > > And as one of my friends used to tell me, Do not
> fear anything or anyone,
> > > ................... Bear the consequences of your
> action as well... What
> > is
> > > the problem to accept that we accidentally hurt
> someone? What is the
> > problem
> > > in getting slapped?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ________________________________
> > > From: Amit Basole <abasole at gmail.com>
> > > To: Rakesh Iyer <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
> > > Cc: Sarai List <reader-list at sarai.net>;
> Hemangini Gupta <
> > > hemanginig at gmail.com>;
> Jasmeen Patheja <machleetank at rediffmail.com>
> > > Sent: Sun, 1 November, 2009 7:24:42 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [Reader-list] 'What Is Eve Teasing?'
> - Opinion Poll Results
> > >
> > > Regarding Kshemendra's query, for the record and
> speaking as a man,
> > > "talking
> > > to breasts" is a very common occurrence and lived
> reality for women not
> > > only
> > > in India but also other places. I recall t-shirts
> worn by women in the US
> > > where the line "I am up here" with an arrow
> pointing towards the head is
> > > printed across the chest. This is a form of
> protest against the practice.
> > > It
> > > is a type of objectification so common as to pass
> completely unnoticed by
> > > the man doing it or seeing other men do it.
> > >
> > > Amit
> > >
> > > On Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 2:33 PM, Rakesh Iyer
> <rakesh.rnbdj at gmail.com>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > > Dear Chandni
> > > >
> > > > I think the larger problem is that the
> people who feel uncomfortable
> > > don't
> > > > even open their mouth about it. And
> sometimes when they do, the society
> > > > doesn't listen at all to them. And hence
> suggestions like these.
> > > >
> > > > What is required is not only a debate among
> intellectual classes, but
> > > even
> > > > within the entire society. Here we have a
> society where if a rape were
> > > > taking place on the streets, half of us
> would be engaged in watching it
> > > and
> > > > even recording clips, some of whom would be
> even going to find out if
> > > they
> > > > have a chance of enjoyment or not, and the
> others would ignore it and
> > > walk
> > > > away. How many of us (including me) would
> actually like to be someone
> > who
> > > > is
> > > > the evidence of the crime and hence speak
> out against the accused? And
> > > how
> > > > many would actually go out and try to stop
> it, at least make an
> > attempt?
> > > >
> > > > And on top of this, once the rape is over,
> the girl will be blamed, not
> > > the
> > > > boy. As if the girl readily agreed for sex
> on the street to portray
> > > herself
> > > > as a porn actress.
> > > >
> > > > I am quite happy though that such views are
> indeed coming across, and
> > > would
> > > > like more such things. But we need to ask
> the questions which I did, in
> > > > addition to of course, those which can talk
> about how such situations
> > can
> > > > be
> > > > worked upon. In India, even the police and
> society generally says the
> > > same
> > > > thing as the BJP candidate said.
> > > >
> > > > Rakesh
> > > > _________________________________________
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> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --
> > > Amit Basole
> > > Department of Economics
> > > Thompson Hall
> > > University of Massachusetts
> > > Amherst, MA 01003
> > > Phone: 413-665-2463
> > > http://www.people.umass.edu/abasole/
> > > blog: http://thenoondaysun.blogspot.com/
> > > _________________________________________
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> >
> > --
> > Meera
> > _________________________________________
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> city.
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> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> http:blog.blanknoise.org
> 
> http:blanknoiseactionheroes.blogspot.com
> 
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